Set a guard over my mouth, Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips. Do not let my heart be drawn to what is evil so that I take part in wicked deeds along with those who are evildoers; do not let me eat their delicacies. Let a righteous man strike me — that is a kindness; let him rebuke me — that is oil on my head. My head will not refuse it, for my prayer will still be against the deeds of evildoers. Psalm 141:3-5
“The language of reason, unaccompanied by kindness, will often fail of making an impression; it has no effect on the understanding, because it touches not the heart. The language of kindness, unassociated with reason, will frequently be unable to persuade; because, though it may gain upon the affections, it wants that which is necessary to convince the judgment; but let reason and kindness be united in a discourse, and seldom will even pride or prejudice find it easy to resist.”
Thomas Gisborne (1758-1846) in Day’s Collacon, compiled and arranged by Edward Parsons Day (New York: IPPO, 1884) 475.
Ever feel like you are not getting through when communicating to a person or an audience. What if you add kindness to reason? Gisborne offers this helpful advice for us for touching even the toughest audience.
His counsel mirrors the words of the psalmist today. The righteous can deliver a message that may hit hard, but when delivered with careful lips, it will be received as a kindness.
Perhaps there is something you need to say to someone or some group? Keep watch over your words. I sometimes speak then think. Don’t do that. Pause to listen with empathy. Then, put on kindness, speak, and see what happens.
We may have generous reasoning or instruction to share with individuals or groups, but if the message is not coupled with kindness, our efforts may amount to no more than a waste of time and energy.