Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift. Matthew 5:23-24
“When I think back on the friendships, encounters, and confrontations of the past, I realize that islands of anger, bitterness, and resentment still lie hidden in my heart. And when I bring to mind all whom I personally know or about whom I have heard or read, I know how I divide them between those who are for me and those who are against me, those whom I like and those whom I do not like, those whom I want to be with and those whom I try to avoid at all costs.
My inner life is so filled with opinions, judgments, and prejudices about my “brothers and sisters” that real peace is still far away. As I think about Jesus’ words, I know that I must let go of all these divisive emotions and thoughts so that I can truly experience peace with all of God’s people. This means an unrestrained willingness to forgive and let go of old fears, bitterness, resentment, anger, and list and thus find reconciliation.
In this way, I can be a real peacemaker. My inner peace can be a source of peace for all I meet. I can then offer gifts on the altar of God as a testimony to this peace with my brothers and sisters. I have to start thinking about concrete ways to make peace with my brothers and sisters who have something against me. What do I have to lose? To make peace is to free myself from my easy judgments so that I can love my enemy and the God who holds me and my enemies together in the palm of His hand.”
Henri Nouwen in Road to Daybreak: A Spiritual Journey (New York: Image, 1990) 141-142.
If I am vulnerable, on my journey I have accumulated lots of knowledge, and knowledge puffs up while love builds up. When puffed up I have, at times, held such strong opinions that I cared more about being right than about preserving human relationships.
If’ I’ve gone from sharing thoughts to convicting you, then join the club. With Nouwen, I have chosen the road to daybreak. That means walking toward the light beckons me to realize that God cares more about me reconciling my human relationships than receiving my heavenly gifts.
If you want to join me on this way, know that we can be real peacemakers who offer gifts as a testimony of the peace we have received and that we get to share. We have nothing to lose and everything to gain. And most importantly, God who is watching our giving, rejoices in our growth.