“Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other people—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’ “But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’ “I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.” Luke 18:10-14
“Here the sinner chides himself for his ingratitude. Alas, alas, alas, Lord God, is it so that I dare to come, that I dare to present myself in the presence of Thy saints; I of all men the most wretched and most sad; I that am so ungrateful for so many and so great blessings; I that have so shamelessly and so gracelessly abused Thy gifts; I that have not blushed out of those very gifts to make weapons wherewith to fight against Thee, and that so often and so long; I that have not blushed, so often and so long, though the recipient of Thy bounty, to fight on the devil’s side against Thee, my King; I that have dared to turn Thy very gifts into arms in the devil’s service; I that have presumed so infamously to misuse my very self, and dared to hire myself as a slave to the devil, and make my members his; and in those very members do battle against Thee, my Creator, against Thee. Thou that didst make them and didst give them me.”
Anselm of Canterbury (1033-1109) in his Seventh Meditation in St. Anselm’s Book of Meditations and Prayers (Grand Rapids: CCEL, 2007)
I find it interesting as I explore the Middle Ages, it’s easier to locate “ingratitude” in the writings of the saints than “gratitude” as an idea. In his meditation, Anselm acknowledges and confesses his sins, his failures linked to the gifts of God.
This touched me deeply considering my situation. For nearly two years, we’ve lived in a small apartment, and we are now grateful to God to be moving into a new house. We want to steward it well, as a gift from God to be enjoyed and shared.
And yet, when I reflect with the publican in humility, I realize how many gifts I have wasted or used for selfish purposes. God forgive me. God forgive us. for our sinfulness and selfishness which shouts “ingratitude” rather than grateful service.
Anselm adds this in the eight meditation:
“Busy thy thoughts with the debt of gratitude thou owest to thy Saviour. Consider what plight thou wast in, and what has been done for thee; think, too, who it is that has done it, and of what love He is worthy. Review at once thy need and His goodness; and see what thanks on the one hand thou renderest, and on the other how much thou owest to His love.”
Father, we busy our thoughts with gratitude for your grace and mercy. We praise you for your response to our need with your generosity. Thanks for providing a home for Jenni and me. Thanks for your patience and unfailing love. Amen.