While Jesus was in Bethany in the home of Simon the Leper, a woman came to him with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume, which she poured on his head as he was reclining at the table. When the disciples saw this, they were indignant. “Why this waste?” they asked. “This perfume could have been sold at a high price and the money given to the poor.” Aware of this, Jesus said to them, “Why are you bothering this woman? She has done a beautiful thing to me. The poor you will always have with you, but you will not always have me. When she poured this perfume on my body, she did it to prepare me for burial. Truly I tell you, wherever this gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her.” Matthew 26:6-13
“Researchers have reported several gender differences when it comes to generosity, although the findings have been inconsistent. While many survey studies have reported that women volunteer more and give more money to charity, the magnitude of these differences varies and is often not very big, and some studies have found evidence of men being more generous than women.
Beside surveys, lab experiments are another way to look at gender differences in giving, although here too there have been inconsistent results. Experiments with “public goods games”— where people can choose to contribute money to a central pot and the money is then multiplied by a factor and divided among all participants—have reported both that all-male groups are more generous and that all-female groups are more generous…
One study did not find any significant differences between male and female players, while another reported that women gave, on average, twice as much to their anonymous partner as men gave. However, one particular modification of the dictator game did discover an interesting gender-specific difference in giving. In this version of the dictator game, players were given a number of tokens that they could divide between themselves and another player, as per usual. However, in different rounds of the game, the payoff for the tokens differed so that in some rounds one token would be worth more when kept and in other rounds it would be worth more when given to the other player.
When summed across the different rounds, men and women gave the same amount of money on average; both genders were equally altruistic. However, individual men were more likely to be perfectly selfish or perfectly selfless, while women tended to be more egalitarian across the board. And when zooming in on how men and women behaved during the different rounds, a clear difference emerged: Men gave more when giving was cheaper (i.e., when a token was worth more when given away), women gave more when giving was more costly (i.e., when a token was worth more when kept).”
Summer Allen in “The Science of Generosity” White Paper produced by the Greater Good Science Center.
I arrived safely in Vienna, Austria. When this posts I will be on the road from Bratislava to Sliač, Slovakia, with Gabriel Hakulín. I met up with him in Bratislava by the Danube this morning (where I shot the header photo). We attend a huge dinner tonight (about 200 people) at which I will connect with influential Christians in Slovakia.
After reading this study while waiting for my international flight, my mind immediately went to Matthew 26. Consider the scene. The disciples (men) think about the money being used to serve the poor (giving more when giving is cheaper) and the unnamed generous woman gives the costly gift.
What are the implications of this? They are too many to list so I will share some thoughts that come to mind at first.
Men tend to think about giving money to solve problems and women tend to think about giving as linked to their values and showing love to those in need. Men tend to think look out for themselves (hence, giving more when giving is cheaper) and women tend to think about the needs of others (hence, giving more when giving is costly).
I think the key here is for the male and female genders to work together and appreciate each others differences.
To all the men out there, let us as God to rid us of our “perfectly selfish ways” and make us “perfectly selfless” people who don’t just try to solve problems but also aim to show love while honoring the willingness and wiring of your wife to sacrifice. If, like me, you think your wife is the most selfless and generous person on the planet, thank her.
That’s me. Thanks Jenni. you are the best, most loving and generous wife in the world to me!
And women, keep giving when giving is “more costly” and honor the “problem solving” bent of your husband. He means well when exercising this trait for your marriage and family. And if you see “perfectly selfless” traits in your husband. Affirm him and stand with him as he’s going against the “perfectly selfish” flow.