And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28
“Have you ever had an infected tooth pulled?” I asked. “Sure.” “Did you have a nice ride home?” I asked. (Laughing) “No, it was awful.” “Well, that was negative, . . . or was it?” I asked. “If you define negative as
feeling crummy, I agree it was. But if you define negative as ‘harmful,’ I would not call it negative but positive. It was not harmful at all for the dentist to inflict that pain. In fact, it was a very positive event, right? A healing event?” I asked. “Yes, sure it was,” she said. “There is a big difference between hurt and harm,” I said. “We all hurt sometimes in facing hard truths, but it makes us grow. It can be the source of huge growth. That is not harmful. Harm is when you damage someone. Facing reality is usually not a damaging experience, even though it can hurt.”
Henry Cloud in Necessary Endings: The Employees, Businesses, and Relationships That All of Us Have to Give Up in Order to Move Forward (San Francisco: HarperCollins, 2011) 24-25.
I am reading this book with my long-time friend Dr. Chi-Chung Keung. We discussed two chapters last night. He commented on appreciating learning the difference between hurt and harm. This post sums up the difference.
We talked about how God allows things in our lives that might hurt. But they do not intend to harm us but to help us, to prune us, to change our deployment of time and energy in one place so we can direct it elsewhere.
In this light, generosity appears as the gracious hand of the gardener doing some pruning in our lives and allowing us to experience hurt in ways that aim not to bring us harm but to do us good. Thanks God.