My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. James 1:19
“Healthy relationships require reciprocal listening — each party gives and receives attention. Listening is more, though, than simply participating in a ping-pong-like exchange of speak-listen-speak-listen-speak. It may look easy. After all, what can be difficult about taking turns practicing the passive act of hearing another speak? All we need to do is sit quietly and take in what the other person is saying, right?
But listening is anything but passive. It requires being actively present to the person we are with. When we listen well, we become present to our partner in a significant, deep way. Listening is a rich art that provides the recipient with much more than an open ear…The first step toward listening more effectively is preparing to listen. This involves setting aside personal preoccupations, admitting preoccupations, and focusing.”
Rochelle Melander in A Generous Presence: Spiritual Leadership and the Art of Coaching (Herndon, VA: The Alban Institute, 2006) 96, 102.
I shot the new header photo at Union Station in downtown Denver on my way home yesterday. The sky was stunning it was so blue! I’ve been riding the train home from the airport as Jenni and I are in a season where we are sharing one car. I am thankful to not have any travel for the next three weeks.
Today’s post touches on a facet of generosity that I am learning to lean into more intentionally: reciprocal listening, the generous giving and receiving of attention. Doing this well requires us to be actively present with God and with other people.
For some this means we must set down our phones and/or close our laptops. For others it means that we must look people in the eyes, shut our mouths, and open our ears. For all it requires setting aside what’s on our minds to consider what is on the mind of someone else.
The fact that people wrestle with listening tells me that we all must also find it difficult to interact with God. I am learning that it requires identifying the things that preoccupy me so I can attune to God and others. When I am not listening well, I find I react rather than respond.
Father in heaven, help all of us be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry so we generously show your love through our reciprocal listening. Make it so by your Holy Spirit we pray in the name of Jesus. Amen.