Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence,so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. Hebrews 4:16
“The proper aim of giving is to put the recipient in a state where he no longer needs our gift. We feed children in order that they may soon be able to feed themselves; we teach them in order that they may soon not need our teaching. Thus a heavy task is laid upon this Gift-love. It must work towards its own abdication. We must aim at making ourselves superfluous. The hour when we can say “They need me no longer” should be our reward.
But the instinct, simply in its own nature, has no power to fulfil this law. The instinct desires the good of its object, but not simply; only the good it can itself give. A much higher love—a love which desires the good of the object as such, from whatever source that good comes—must step in and help or tame the instinct before it can make the abdication. And of course it often does. But where it does not, the ravenous need to be needed will gratify itself either by keeping its objects needy or by inventing for them imaginary needs. It will do this all the more ruthlessly because it thinks (in one sense truly) that it is a Gift-love and therefore regards itself as “un- selfish.”
C.S. Lewis in The Four Loves (New York: Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, 1960) 76.
I posted part of this post from The Four Loves last year. The first part about the fact that our giving should make ourselves superfluous. It was brought to my attention yesterday again so I did further reading.
Today I noticed the related idea that what works against this healthy detachment from those we serve is “the ravenous need to be needed” by them. This explains why those who have resources like to retain them. It gives them a sense of power over other people.
God forgive us for the times we have succombed to this. Instead, Father, we come boldly to you for what we need and commit to enjoying and sharing all you richly supply without holding power over others. Hear our prayer in your mercy in the name of Jesus. Amen.