Meditations

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13

“The first step that will motivate you to do what is necessary is to see that what you are doing has no hope of getting what you want. When that happens, you will instantly feel an epiphany. Y ou realize that to get where you want to get,
you must make a change. You really get it that to continue to do what you are doing is hopeless, and then you will begin to see motivation to make a change appear. So hopelessness can bring us closer to fearlessness, as it does not take courage to stop doing what you know is not going to work.

When you see a train coming, you have fear working for you, motivating you to get out of the way. It just takes a clear dose of the reality, over and over, to confirm that you are going nowhere. It creates its own discomfort, which motivates us to action. It is sometimes the most important step you can take, as it will fuel you to make a move. But remember, to get there, you have to get honest with yourself and be ready to see hopelessness as if it is staring you in the face.”

Henry Cloud in Necessary Endings: The Employees, Businesses, and Relationships That All of Us Have to Give Up in Order to Move Forward (San Francisco: HarperCollins, 2011) 68.

What do hope and hopelessness have to do with generosity? Everything.

God wants us to abound in hope. We do that when we trust Him completely with everything. When we daily say “Jesus I surrender myself to you, take care of everything!” We abound with hope.

And yet, in the midst of our days, we will feel a sense of hopelessness. Why?

It’s a gift actually. It’s a voice from heaven saying what you are doing is not working. Stop it. Take another path. You are standing on the railroad tracks and the train is coming. Get off. Make a change.

This book is helping me see areas in my life that need pruning or where I need to make changes to be the person God wants me to be.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you. Philippians 4:8-9

In several industries in which I worked during the economic crisis, particularly ones that were highly sales driven, I began to notice a syndrome very similar to what Martin Seligman termed learned helplessness. It is a condition in which the person adapts to the misery because they feel that there is nothing they can do about it. It is totally out of their control. Bad market or bad economy equals bad results. That is their mental map, and they act accordingly…

But I saw something else going on as well. In several of these situations, even when I saw stuckness and an adaptation to the misery as the new normal, I also observed some high performance occurring too, sometimes right down the hall. In other words, same market, same external conditions, yet a different set of behaviors and results. Why? The difference was in the brains, the mental models, of the ones who were performing versus the ones who weren’t.

First of all, those who were not stuck had a different map of the world. Some did not assume that “there are no buyers right now.” They thought instead that in the chaos, there were many, many potential customers who needed to be shepherded through the challenging environment and were being ignored. So they got even busier and contacted them. This was true in several industries that I observed, even the “deadest” ones, like real estate.

Second, their focus was different. They did not spend their time and energy focusing on all of the things that were falling apart that they could do nothing about. Instead, they thought hard and fast about what they could do. In a learned-helplessness model, the brain begins to interpret events in a negative way, thus reinforcing its belief that “all is bad.” For instance, when someone doesn’t get a sale, it means “I am a loser, the whole business is bad, and it isn’t going to change.”

These are called by Seligman and others the three P’s. Events are processed in predictable, negative ways: first, as personalized (I am a bad salesperson); second, as pervasive (everything I do, or every aspect of
the business, is bad); and third, as permanent (nothing is going to change). You can easily see why this leads to helplessness and inactivity.

But the productive people did not think in a learned-helplessness way. Their internal software was more optimistic, seeing a “non-sale” as just one more number to get past to get to the one that was going to buy and sustaining other such optimistic-thinking paradigms.”

Henry Cloud in Necessary Endings: The Employees, Businesses, and Relationships That All of Us Have to Give Up in Order to Move Forward (San Francisco: HarperCollins, 2011) 49-50.

I am enjoying this book and will post from it for another week or so.

Then I am excited to “write” a new Lent devotional book in real time in my Daily Meditations this year for world release next year. I will share the title and theme next Tuesday as Lent starts on 18 February 2026.

Related to today’s post, I see this concept all the time in Christian workers who have partnership or fundraising responsibilities. I ask a few questions and see they are lost in a state of learned helplessness.

When fundraisers focus on results they cannot control rather than doing the faithful work of inviting people to participate in God’s work, they see no fruits the three P’s play out.

First, they personalize it thinking that they cannot raise funds like the other people. When in reality, God supplies the funds, not people. People do the work of communicating giving opportunities and doing diligent follow up.

Second, the learned helplessness becomes pervasive. It causes them to lose sight of their mission. They act as though God has abandoned them. Or they pin the blame on external factors when they have an internal issue.

Third, the toxic mindset metastasizes. It becomes permanent. The only way out of this is found in today’s Scripture. They have to focus on what is true and right and good and put it into practice. The fruit will come.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28

“Have you ever had an infected tooth pulled?” I asked. “Sure.” “Did you have a nice ride home?” I asked. (Laughing) “No, it was awful.” “Well, that was negative, . . . or was it?” I asked. “If you define negative as
feeling crummy, I agree it was. But if you define negative as ‘harmful,’ I would not call it negative but positive. It was not harmful at all for the dentist to inflict that pain. In fact, it was a very positive event, right? A healing event?” I asked. “Yes, sure it was,” she said. “There is a big difference between hurt and harm,” I said. “We all hurt sometimes in facing hard truths, but it makes us grow. It can be the source of huge growth. That is not harmful. Harm is when you damage someone. Facing reality is usually not a damaging experience, even though it can hurt.”

Henry Cloud in Necessary Endings: The Employees, Businesses, and Relationships That All of Us Have to Give Up in Order to Move Forward (San Francisco: HarperCollins, 2011) 24-25.

I am reading this book with my long-time friend Dr. Chi-Chung Keung. We discussed two chapters last night. He commented on appreciating learning the difference between hurt and harm. This post sums up the difference.

We talked about how God allows things in our lives that might hurt. But they do not intend to harm us but to help us, to prune us, to change our deployment of time and energy in one place so we can direct it elsewhere.

In this light, generosity appears as the gracious hand of the gardener doing some pruning in our lives and allowing us to experience hurt in ways that aim not to bring us harm but to do us good. Thanks God.

I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. John 15:1

“One reason pruning is needed is the fact that the bush produces more buds than it can bring to full maturity. Any bush that is alive and thriving is producing more and more buds every cycle. And any person or business that is thriving is doing the same. Life begets life. That is normal. But it can be too much, as well.”

Henry Cloud in Necessary Endings: The Employees, Businesses, and Relationships That All of Us Have to Give Up in Order to Move Forward (San Francisco: HarperCollins, 2011) 43.

Jesus is the true vine. The Father in heaven is the gardener. And we are branches that produce buds.

And today I learned a fact of life. Our branches produce more buds than we can bring to maturity so pruning things, or in plain terms, not trying to do everything, helps us do the things we chose to do, more fruitful.

Here’s where this becomes challenging. Let’s say, like me, you have lots of capacity.

This can lead me to try to do more than I should and I could “do” myself to death. When I prune things, I can actually produce an insane amount of fruit by “not trying to do everything” but to do fewer things better.

I need to think more about this. Perhaps you do too? So how do we discern what to prune?

The key is in today’s Scripture, namely, abiding in the true vine of Jesus, and letting the Father, our gardener, cut off those buds that would not go to maturity, so that our lives produce both quality and abundant fruit.

Yet He has not left himself without testimony: He has shown kindness by giving you rain from heaven and crops in their seasons; He provides you with plenty of food and fills your hearts with joy. Acts 14:17

“Each season also has its own set of activities. Spring is about sowing and beginnings. Where there is nothing but a waiting field, the farmer sows seeds in the expectation that they will take root and produce a harvest. The tasks of spring include:

– Cleaning out what is left over from the winter’s dying plants;
– Gathering seeds;
– Figuring out which fields you are going to work;
– Making sure you have the resources to take you through the year;
– Actual sowing and planting;
– Protecting seedlings from the elements and intruders; and
– Nurturing the vision of the harvest to guide the task.

In summer, things change again. It is time to tend to what has taken root. The tasks of summer include:

– Directing resources to ensure the crops are growing;
– Preventing disease and keeping insects and other pests away;
– Watering, fertilizing, and pruning;
– Supporting the plants until they can stand on their own; and
– Monitoring, managing, and protecting the crops for the future.

Fall is harvest time:
– Acting with urgency to get crops out of the field before they rot or are damaged by rain or the cold of winter;
– Gathering the harvest completely, not leaving anything in the field;
– Harvesting with efficiency and watching the costs; and
– Harvesting with care so you don’t destroy the field in the process.

In winter, everything dies, though preparations continue. The tasks of winter include:

– Getting the financials in order;
– Squaring accounts with lenders for last years’ crops and lining up next year’s money;
– Repairing equipment and getting it ready for next year;
– Preparing fields for the upcoming year; and
– Reviewing the successes and failures of the past year and tweaking things to do everything better next year.

The problem comes when we do not accept or we willfully ignore these seasons… Believe in life cycles and seasons. They are real. Therefore, when the days get shorter or it is time to change, you will not think that “something is wrong,” but you will accept the change as readily as a farmer accepts the turning of the calendar. Then you will be able to end the previous season’s appropriate activities and move to the next. Endings are easier to embrace and execute when you believe something normal is happening.”

Henry Cloud in Necessary Endings: The Employees, Businesses, and Relationships That All of Us Have to Give Up in Order to Move Forward (San Francisco: HarperCollins, 2011) 39-41.

As I ponder on sabbatical, I realize I am transitioning to a different season of life.

I am asking myself what things I need to be doing to wrap up the past season and prepare for the next one so I liked this list of things for the farmer.

For example, I am entering the season of serving as a grandfather and as a mentor. I will continue serving as a writer and speaker but I cannot serve as President & CEO any longer.

I am learning areas of my life that need more or less attention.

As I welcome these decisions, normal changes in seasons of life, I become more fruitful quicker. And if I don’t of course it limits my productivity.

I don’t have this figured out but I pray my journey inspires you out there to prune and to welcome change in the seasons of life to maximize our kingdom impact.

Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise. Ephesians 5:15

“When we talk about necessary endings, it’s one thing to understand the theory behind the three reasons for pruning—good but not best, sick but not getting well, and long since dead—but it’s another thing entirely to apply those concepts in real life. We can’t execute endings in theory only, so they have to be clear in reality. The question is, What defines reality?

When pruning a rosebush, the first step is to ask, “What does a rose look like?” In other words, you have to know the standard you are pruning toward. The gardener knows what a healthy bud, branch, or bloom looks like and prunes with that standard in mind. The same thing is true in business and life—we have to have a good definition of what we want the outcome to look like and prune toward that…

Pruning is not easy. It is hard and there will be people who don’t like it, no matter what you do. You have to decide where your lines are, the values with which you will execute them, and go forward… Not every activity nor every person is a rose or will ever be one. One might be a great chrysanthemum, but remember, you are growing a rose of a business or life. So you have to begin by defining what you are pruning toward and the criteria by which you will keep or clip…

You can’t prune toward anything if you don’t know what you want. You have to figure out what you are trying to be or build and then define what the pruning standards are going to be. That definition and those standards will bring you to the pruning moments… “If you don’t know where you are heading, you’ll get there” applies to pruning as well. Define what you are shooting for, and then prune against that standard. That is when vision, goals, and even teams begin to take the shape that you desire.”

Henry Cloud in Necessary Endings: The Employees, Businesses, and Relationships That All of Us Have to Give Up in Order to Move Forward (San Francisco: HarperCollins, 2011) 26-30.

What standard are you pruning toward?

I was messaging with a friend yesterday and the topic of the values of the team in sports history with the highest winning percentage came up: the New Zealand All Blacks.

One of their values is this: “Go for the Gap: When you are top of your game, change your game.”

Think about it. Most tend to rest on their laurels when they are on top of their game. Those who prune change their game and bear more fruit. Is that you? Do you want it to be?

Today I want to challenge you to pray with me about what standard you prune toward.

We will not get where we want to go in our generous living, giving, serving, and loving if we do not know where we are heading and prune toward that goal.

Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Matthew 7:19

“In the simple word “pruning” is the central theme of what a necessary ending is all about: Removing whatever it is in our business or life whose reach is unwanted or superfluous. In business and in life, executing the three types of necessary endings described above is what characterizes people who get results. (1) If an initiative is siphoning off resources that could go to something with more promise, it is pruned. (2) If an endeavor is sick and is not going to get well, it is pruned. (3) If it’s clear that something is already dead, it is pruned. This is the threefold formula for doing well in almost every arena of life.

Henry Cloud in Necessary Endings: The Employees, Businesses, and Relationships That All of Us Have to Give Up in Order to Move Forward (San Francisco: HarperCollins, 2011) 22.

Did any of these three pruning areas stand out to you as an area of reflection related to your stewardship?

The first area stood out to me as directly related to generosity. Anything that siphons our resources from more promising areas needs pruning. Today’s Scripture links to the second and third area. Sick branches need care and dead ones get cut down. They become good for firewood.

The good part about pruning is that we start to understand it as the pathway for facilitating new and more fruitful life.
God help us prune our lives so they produce more of the fruits of the Spirit, one of which is generosity.

By contrast, the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against such things. Galatians 5:22-23

As fruit have been on my mind since reading this book, this bowl caught my eye. I snapped this photo of some delicious “cuties” in the United Club on my travels home from Asia. Imagine our lives producing an abundance with pruning.

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

“Endings are not only part of life; they are a requirement for living and thriving, professionally and personally. Being alive requires that we sometimes kill off things in which we were once invested, uproot what we previously nurtured, and tear down what we built for an earlier time. Refraining, giving up, throwing away, tearing down, hating what we once cherished—all are necessary.

Endings are the reason you are not married to your prom date nor still working in your first job. But without the ability to do endings well, we flounder, stay stuck, and fail to reach our goals and dreams. Or worse, we remain in painful and sometimes destructive situations. Endings are crucial, but we rarely like them. Hence the problem. Why We Avoid Endings.
Endings are necessary, but the truth is that we often do not do them well. Although we need them for good results to happen in life and for bad situations to be resolved, the reality is that most of us humans often avoid them or botch them.

We hang on too long when we should end something now… We are afraid of the unknown… We have had too many and too painful endings in our personal history, so we avoid another one. When they are forced upon us, we do not know how to process them, and we sink or flounder. We do not learn from them, so we repeat the same mistakes over and over.”

Henry Cloud in Necessary Endings: The Employees, Businesses, and Relationships That All of Us Have to Give Up in Order to Move Forward (San Francisco: HarperCollins, 2011) 15-16.

I am back from Asia. And I feel pretty good. Reply if you want to read my trip report.

In my travels, I have been reading this book. My counselor recommended it for my sabbatical reading and transitioning from President & CEO to Founder. And the deeper reason is to help strengthen my emotional health. As I read it, I also see connections to generosity.

Solomon reminds us that there’s a time for everything.

And as a steward aspiring to faithful and generous service, you know that to say yes to living, giving, serving, and loving, you need to end some things so you can fully engage with others.

Just this week, a friend in Ukraine shared that with the war waging on for four years and counting, he has to say ‘no’ to more things. I am praying for him.

Recently another friend had change forced upon him. I can’t imagine how hard that must have been. But he’s sitting with the Lord trying to discern his next steps.

On this note I must honor my wife. I see what she does (or does not do) so she can support me, do her seminary supervision, have countless soul care sessions with people, help with the granddaughters 3 days a week, do national and international speaking and teaching, and more. I see her at the beginning of each year determine the things she will continue or end to have perpetual margin for what is most important.

For the rest of us, maybe we have flexibility to choose the things we continue or end, but maybe we have put off making such assessments. Here’s what I say today. Don’t put this off. Ask Jesus to help you as it will not be easy.

And it will only increase your generosity.

But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 6:33

“How could such a person not be a fool when for the sake of things that cannot profit him – ‘For a man’s life does not consist in the abundance of the things that he possesses’ (Luke 12:15) – he gives up what is most profitable of all? He fails to become a wise merchant, selling even necessities, so far as possible, and in this way adding to the capital of a truly bountiful and gainful form of commerce or husbandry – a husbandry, indeed, which even before the harvest time multiplies a hundredfold that which was sown, thus foreshowing that the profit to come and the harvest shortly to be reaped will be indescribable and unimaginable.

And the curious thing is that the smaller the storerooms the seed comes from the larger will the harvest be. Hence there is no justification in aspiring to become rich even for a good cause. The truth is that people are frightened of being poor because they have no faith in Him who promised to provide all things needful to those who seek the kingdom of God (cf. Matt. 6:33). It is this fear that spurs them, even when they are endowed with all things, and it prevents them from ever freeing themselves from this sickly and baneful desire. They go on amassing wealth, loading themselves with a worthless burden or, rather, enclosing themselves while still living in a most absurd kind of tomb.”

Gregory Palamas (1296-1359) was a monk of Mount Athos and later archbishop of Thessalonica in “To the Most Reverend Nun Xenia” in The Philokalia V4.305.

I am sitting in Manila while typing this. It will post when I am over the Pacific.

I marvel that after mining classic writings of the Christian faith, like The Philokalia, for 16.5 years and posting more than 6,000 Daily Meditations, I never cease to find gold. I never stop finding the most profound quotes of saints reflecting on Scripture. Please read this post again! It’s so good!

These discoveries happen because there is no better quest than seeking the Kingdom with saints through the centuries.

Today, Gregory writes Xenia saying that he can’t understand why, despite the explicit warning of Jesus, people fail to sow to reap a harvest that is both indescribable and unimaginable.

Instead they amass wealth and live in an absurd kind of tomb. If you have wealth on earth, that’s you! Stop doing it! And hear me pointedly, I concur with Gregory who explains why this happens.

The truth hurts: “people are frightened of being poor because they have no faith in Him who promised to provide all things needful to those who seek the kingdom of God.”

Don’t let your actions testify against you. I am not trying to rob you but help you.

And I will need your help in an ongoing way as this sabbatical continues to unleash many new kingdom-advancing ideas and opportunities.

Seriously, I just spent time in China and, among other efforts, had the privilege of leading three people to faith in Jesus Christ.

This will cost them everything but the gain will be indescribable and unimaginable. The 60+ workers I empowered may experience persecution or even martyrdom, but they thanked me.

They said that that the time they have will be exponentially more productive. I wept with my wife on FaceTime yesterday while trying to process my experiences on the trip.

I must conclude by saying that this “curious” statement struck me: “the smaller the storerooms the seed comes from the larger will the harvest be.”

I thank a few God for a few humble people who sent me to China following God’s leading. They did it from their limited resources. When they get to the kingdom, they will meet three people who made it there because they sent me.

And, in Jesus name, countless others through the ministries of those I served.

And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19

“He who dwells in solitude and depends on charity for his food must accept alms in seven ways. First, he must ask only for what is needful. Secondly, he must take only what is needful. Thirdly, he must receive whatever is offered to him as if from God. Fourthly, he must trust in God and believe that He will recompense the giver. Fifthly, he must apply himself to keeping the commandments. Sixthly, he must not misuse what is given to him. Seventhly, he must not be stingy but must give to others and be compassionate. He who conducts himself thus in these matters experiences the joy of having his needs supplied not by man but by God.”

Gregory of Sinai in The Philokalia: The Complete Text: Volume 4, compiled by St. Nikodimos of the Holy Mountain and St. Makarius of Corinth (London: Faber & Faber, 1979) 256.

In continuing my exploration of what is ‘needful’ in The Philokalia, I appreciated this straightforward instruction for me as I trust God to supply my needs and for the needs of my family.

Read it again. It drives me to pursue contentment, simplicity, dependence on God, trust in God, obedience to God, stewardship, and generosity. Join me. This is what is needful on our part.

And when we do this we can trust God to meet our needs!

I posted this prior to entering China. Before traveling home to USA, I have stopped in Manila (pictured above) to meet with a very special friend, Anjji Gabriel.

Assuming travel goes on schedule, I will return to Denver on Thursday afternoon.

But I want to pause to give thanks for how God supplied what was needful for my trip: prayers for God to work in power, strength to serve, financial resources to travel, and more.