Meditations

“But you are not to be called ‘Rabbi,’ for you have one Teacher, and you are all brothers. Matthew 23:8

“In the spiritual life, more than anywhere else, the proper order and sequence must be observed from the start. Guests at a dinner may not like the introductory dishes and may feel more attracted by what comes later, but they are forced to comply with the order of the courses…

To become a true monk a man should not work backwards from the end to the beginning, but start at the beginning and so advance towards perfection. In this way he will himself gain what he seeks, and will also be able to guide his disciples to holiness. Most people, however, without exerting any effort or making any real progress, small or great, in the practice of virtue, simply chase after the status of spiritual director, not realizing how dangerous this is.

When others urge them to undertake the work of teaching, they do not refuse; indeed, they even wander about the back streets, recruiting anyone they find, and they promise all kinds of perquisites, as if making a contract with servants about food and clothing.

Spiritual directors of this kind like to appear in public supported by a large crowd of attendants, and to have all the outward pomp of an abbot, as if playing a part on the stage. So as not to lose the services of their disciples, they are forced to keep on gratifying their whims. They are like a charioteer who drops the reins and lets his horses go where they like.

Their disciples are allowed to run wild: carried away by their desires, they fall over precipices or stumble at every obstacle in their path, because there is no one to stop them or to restrain their disordered impulses.

Instead of doing this they ought to obey the true teacher Christ, and to refuse, as far as possible, to assume the direction of others. For He says to His disciples: ‘Do not be called Rabbi’, and if He admonished Peter and John and the rest of the apostles to avoid such work and to consider themselves unworthy of such a position, how can anyone imagine himself superior to them and claim for himself the office from which they were debarred?

For in saying ‘Do not be called Rabbi’, He does not mean that we are free to assume the office so long as we avoid the title. But what if someone, not from any choice of his own, is obliged to accept one or two disciples, and so to become the spiritual director of others as well?

First, let him examine himself carefully, to see whether he can teach them through his actions rather than his words, setting his own life before them as a model of holiness. He must take care that, through copying him, they do not obscure the beauty of holiness with the ugliness of sin.

He should also realize that he ought to work as hard for his disciples’ salvation as he does for his own; for, having once accepted responsibility for them, he will be accountable to God for them as well as for himself.”

Neilos of Sinai (d. 430) in Philokalia 1.157.

What does our example as spiritual directors and teachers have to do with generosity? Everything.

In my last day in Mumbai, I had the privilege of speaking to 14 of the leading accountants, lawyers, and professionals in the city, thanks to the hosting of chartered accountant, Raja B. Singh.

I spoke on the heart of generosity, giving deep biblical instruction in an interactive format.

All the while, I acknowledged that I had made ever mistake, committed every sin, and learned each stewardship lesson the hard way. I shared the lessons I had learned by experience.

Why take this posture? In the words of Nilus of Sinai from the classic work, Philokalia, we must not “obscure the beauty of holiness.” Any direction we give people, any instruction we impart, must be tempered with the truth that Jesus is the only leader and rabbi.

We are learners. I have discovered on yet another stretching trip about the faithfulness and generosity of God. And also that I am accountable for the growth of those I serve. It’s happening praise God. I see it.

Today, I have a prayer for my colleague, Rebecca Nilanjana, GTP Regional Facilitator for South Asia. She has her entrance exam to law school. Would you pray with me for her that God helps her?

She has sacrificially served with me and others since 11 January 2025. She could have said no, but like Deborah in Judges 4:9, she said, “Certainly, I will go with you.”

Even as God delivered Bangladesh into her hands, and gave us victories in India, pray for a good outcome to her test. God has raised her up for such a time as this as a “model of holiness” for her people.

And let me know if you’d like a copy of the India and Bangladesh trip reports. I’m headed home now. I am not the same person I was when I left. The hard trips change me.

Form me into a true monk, Lord. I pray your hard times transform you too. And I pray Rebecca aces that test.

You therefore, beloved, since you are forewarned, beware that you are not carried away with the error of the lawless and lose your own stability. But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be the glory both now and to the day of eternity. Amen. 2 Peter 3:17-18

“A monk should always act as if he was going to die tomorrow; yet he should treat his body as if it was going to live for many years. The first cuts off the inclination to listlessness, and makes the monk more diligent; the second keeps his body sound and his self control well balanced.

He who has attained spiritual knowledge and has enjoyed the delight that comes from it will no longer succumb to the demon of self-esteem, even when he offers him all the delights of the world; for what could the demon promise him that is greater than spiritual contemplation?

But so long as we have not tasted this knowledge, let us devote ourselves eagerly to the practice of the virtues, showing God that our aim in everything is to attain knowledge of Him. We should examine the ways of the monks who have preceded us, and achieve our purpose by following their example.”

Evagrios the Solitary (345-399) in the Philokalia, Volume 1.28.

As I examine the decisions that I make, not only do I invite you to join me. I would encourage you to think about the idea of choosing that which is greater.

On our last day in Bangladesh, our GTP team visited 3 of 9 orphanages that serve a total of 600 girls. At the end of the trip, I shared a draft of the trip report with a businessman who started the orphanage network.

He was so excited. His comments revealed that he knew how to make money running a clothing factory, and he knew how to start and run orphanages. But he admitted not know how to rally others to join.

From our conversation, I think with GTP’s help, within 5 years, he will have 6,000 girls in orphanages. But how does my story and the header photo above relate to today’s post?

We need to live as if each day is our last, but take care of ourselves as if we will live for a long time (notice Evagrios did not say stockpile money). We must abandon listlessness and instead choose the daily pursuit of knowing God.

For me, that means I want to help as many workers as possible to spread the gospel of Jesus Christ as far as possible to win as many people to lives of obedience to the God through whom all things are possible.

And I have learned that if I served orphans I could touch 600 like the businessman. But the greater choice is surrendering my dreams to serve 600 and following Him to equip workers to each touch 6,000 and more.

This reveals the secret of the monks that I have learned over the last 15+ years as Generosity Monk. Live a committed life, you see ministry grow by addition. Rally a community to choose the greater, you see ministry grow by multiplication.

Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed. Mark 1:35

“When the intellect grows strong, it makes ready to pursue the love which quenches all bodily passions and which
prevents anything contrary to nature from gaining control over the heart. Then the intellect, struggling against
what is contrary to nature, separates this from what is in accordance with nature. Examine yourself daily in the sight of God, and discover which of the passions is in your heart. Cast it out, and so escape His judgment. Be attentive to your heart and watch your enemies, for they are cunning in their malice. In your heart be persuaded of this: it is impossible for a man to achieve good through evil means.”

Isaiah the Solitary (d.491) in the Philokalia, Volume 1.10.

Today the “daily” aspect of examine stood out to me.

While traveling and ministering in places like India or Bangladesh, it requires extra discipline to make time for study and prayer, for Bible reading and contemplation. I have very little margin so I have to lose sleep to do it.

It’s easier just to allow a busy schedule run my life into the ground.

Instead I find that the busier the schedule seems, when I block the time to be with Jesus, the more energy and confidence I find for joining God in His work, for noticing what is going on in my heart and for seeing enemy attacks.

This marks a key paradox of the generous Christian faith and a characteristic of the abundant economy.

A leading inhibitor of this is a divided heart. When we give our heart to God, it produces consistent fruit. But when we think we can give ourselves to anything else, and to God, our faith and fruitfulness will always suffer.

Serving God with all you are and all you have. It will not leave you empty but rather enriched.

And do this to escape judgment. With Isaiah the Solitary, I think a lot of people will say they were believers in Jesus but not followers or disciples. Too many hear, and don’t do.

They succumb to the enemies traps, such as counterfeit faith which looks like Christianity but lacks radical deeds.

I head from Bangladesh back to India today. The time went so well there! PRaise God.  I have two more group meetings in Mumbai and then heading to the airport late on 21 January 2025. Appreciate prayers for safe conclusion to this 2 weeks of service.

Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Do you not realize that Christ Jesus is in you—unless, of course, you fail the test? 2 Corinthians 13:5

“Let no one hope to find in contemplation an escape from conflict, from anguish or from doubt. On the contrary,
the deep, inexpressible certitude of the contemplative experience awakens a tragic anguish and opens many questions in the depths of the heart like wounds that cannot stop bleeding. For every gain in deep certitude there is a corresponding growth of superficial “doubt.” This doubt is by no means opposed to genuine faith, but it mercilessly examines and questions the spurious “faith” of everyday life, the human faith which is nothing but the passive acceptance of conventional opinion. This false “faith” which is what we often live by and which we even come to confuse with our “religion” is subjected to inexorable questioning.”

Thomas Merton in New Seeds of Contemplation (Abbey of Gethsemani, 1961) 12.

Today is a deep post. It’s swimming in the deep end of the pool, for sure.

The contemplative life is not an easy one. It weeds out spurious elements of our faith with merciless but necessary examination. It does not settle for the status quo of conventional opinion. It calls junk in our lives what it is, false.

I did not realize having the word examine would beckon me to place of renewal and revival, a place of truth and hard work.

I guess its the necessary condition for the work before me (and you if you are honest with yourself). Most readers will remain in the comfort zone, when Jesus wants them to focus on Him and walk on water.

Many promise to stand by Jesus to the death and promptly deny him three times in the next breath. They will think there is no hope for them and find that Jesus wants to build his church on them.

If everything I said just went over your head, hear this. Your contemplative and authentic Christian faith is your most generous contribution to the world. It makes you real in a world of not-real.

You pass the proverbial test Paul writes about because when everything is stripped and ripped away, Christ is there.

Yes, this is the kind of stuff I think about in the quiet and early hours of the solitude of my hotel room in a dark and desolate corner of the planet where the only thing that is real is the presence of Christ which fills me with power and love to go shine for Him.

Last full day in Bangladesh. Preaching again. The events have gone indescribably good thanks to the prayers of many and of course, the grace and supremacy of Jesus Christ to the principalities and powers that had grip on this land.

“In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven”. . .”Be careful not to practice your righteousness in front of others to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven.” Matthew 5:16; 6:1

“First notice the caution which is thus enforced by our blessed Lord. “Take heed that ye do not your alms before men to be
seen of them.” In the previous part of this matchless discourse, you will see that our Lord Jesus Christ gave an exhortation that appears at first sight to contravene the words of our text, “Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works,” whereas in the text He says, “Take heed that ye do not your alms before men to be seen of them.”

I say there appears to be here at first sight something like a discrepancy or contradiction; but if we dig below the surface, and examine the subject carefully, we shall see that there is no discrepancy, but the most beautiful harmony. Our Lord says, “Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works, and glorify, not you, but glorify your Father which is in heaven.” In our text he says, “Take heed that you do not your alms before men to be seen of them.”

What a striking antithesis there is between the two exhortations employed by our blessed Lord. The one do their good works to bring glory to God; the other do their seemingly good works to have glory from men. The exhortation and caution of our blessed Savior intimate to us this very important truth, that there is a danger in every case of our simply resting in the duty done; we may idolize the outward form, while at the same time we entirely ignore or overlook the spirit of an action.

Our Lord’s references to prayer and fasting as well as to almsgiving in this chapter, illustrate what I mean. It is quite possible we may perform all necessary duties, and yet those duties maybe marred for want of sincerity. Just as there are some insects that will imbibe poison from the sweetest flowers, so depraved, unrenewed man will derive no profit from such false acts, but on the contrary will increase his own condemnation, even while in the enjoyment of the richest means of grace.”

James Bardsley in “The Motives of Giving” as located in Money and it’s Responsibilities: A Course of Sermons on Giving for Religious and Charitable Purposes, 8-9.

Praise God! The stewardship and standards event activated a working group to draft standards and form a peer accountability group like ECFA in USA for Bangladesh.

Today we do a Stations of Generosity training. This training aims, in the words of Bardsley, to “dig below the surface” to encourage generosity flowing from joy-filled hearts.

I appreciate how Bardsley urges us to notice the caution we must take. We must light shine in a way that people see our good works and glorify God but not have the motive of seeking any glory ourselves.

I must admit, though I am half-way around the world from home, this post takes me back to the days of raising our children and playing “The Generosity Game” together.

It’s basically a kingdom-minded version of the game of LIFE that celebrates generosity rather than worldly accumulation of wealth. But there’s a twist in the game we always appreciated.

Every chance you got to make a gift, you had to draw a card to “check your motives” and only if your “attitude is right” do your treasures get stored up. That draw happened after you played.

So the twist was that you could make a large gift, but it the attitude card said your attitude was bad, that money was gone and nothing went into your eternal account.

So whether we do the fun “Stations of Generosity” or play “The Generosity Game” we move beyond the gifts to the motives behind them because that’s what matters to God. He sees our hearts.

How’s your heart today? What motivates your giving?

You will be enriched in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God. 2 Corinthians 9:11

“When we carefully examine the whole Word of God, it is very striking to observe that in almost all the passages where God enjoins giving, He promises blessings and connects them with it.”

William Carpenter in “The Blessings of Giving” as located in Money and it’s Responsibilities: A Course of Sermons on Giving for Religious and Charitable Purposes, 55.

In my reading I stumbled on this simple quote. I love it. It sums up the reality that God wants us to bless us as we serve as conduits of His blessings.

As I think about our country host, that’s what I see. She wants GTP to serve as a conduit of blessing so she put herself as a conduit. Pray for God to bless many through our service and to bless her.

And give generously today wherever God guides you. Count on Him to replenish your rigor and resources as you live, give, serve, and love generously.

Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. James 1:22

“The other faith hath all devils and wicked Christian people, that be his members: but this pure Christian faith have none, but those that truly belong to Christ, and be the very members of his body, and endeavor themselves to persevere in his precepts and laws; although many pretend to have the said pure faith, which nevertheless have it not, but only in their mouths. For as there is a love in the mouth, and a love in the heart, even so there is a faith in mouth and a faith in heart. Examine every man, if he trust in God and love God above all things; and in words he will answer, yea: but examine every man’s acts and deeds, and surely in a great number their acts and deeds condemn their words.”

Thomas Cranmer (1489-1556) in “Corrections of the Institution by Henry VIII” in Miscellaneous Writings and Letters of Thomas Cranmer (Cambridge: University Press, 1846) 85.

We have arrived safely to Dhaka, Bangladesh. When the general secretary of the Evangelical Alliance of Bangladesh greeted me, she said, “Welcome to one of the dirtiest cities on the globe…but we are hospitable.”

That’s an apt description. I shot the header photo on arrival to my hotel. My eyes burn. The pollution index is off the charts. This may also explain why it seemed that every person on the plane had a bad cough. Lord have mercy.

Anyway, despite the dirtiness, in collaboration with the president of the Evangelical Alliance of Bangladesh, top Christian workers from across the 8 divisions of the country (think: states in USA) have arrived for the meetings.

And our team of three also all arrived safely. I came with Rebecca Patra of New Delhi, India. She volunteers as GTP Regional Facilitator for South Asia and NobleRank Growth Strategist (NobleRank is the peer accountability group serving India, like ECFA in USA). Prakash Chandra Giri of Pokhara, Nepal, met up with us at the airport. He works as GTP Curriculum Developer and of course, I serve as GTP President and CEO and come from Denver, Colorado, USA.

Now to today’s post. In days when people were not following standards or precepts that honored God, Cranmer wrote these words calling people to examine themselves and make sure their faith was not “only in their mouths.”

The same is true this week in Bangladesh. It’s an historic moment for this country. But what Dhaka? Why now? I met Martha when I spoke at the Future of the Gospel Forum on in Istanbul in October 2023.

With zeal, she insisted that GTP come. She said she could convene the influencers of the nation to shape a new future for ministry in a place where Christianity. She has done it. Pray for us. And pray for our safety.

With GTP we do really do go to the hardest places. The USA government has posted a “Level 3: Reconsider Travel” or “Level 4: Do Not Travel” to most of places I have been in the last six months or where I am headed, including: Bangladesh, Colombia, Guatemala, Guyana, Jamaica, Pakistan, Trinidad and Tobago, and Ukraine.

So why come here? When we teach people to “persevere in His precepts” or, as we say at GTP, “follow standards as faithful stewards,” we write a new future for our people. Like the one Cranmer wanted so badly for England.

Pray with me for that this week. For God to form a working group to advance accountability and for our Station of Generosity training to spread widely and unleash local giving to God’s work. Pray for Spirit-filled preaching too. I preach twice in addition to the GTP events, tomorrow and Sunday.

And wherever you are, and examine yourself to make sure your faith is not only in your mouth, lest your acts and deeds condemn your words. People in places like this need our help. We must never forget how Christ came to us in our broken and sinful state. If you love God above all things, show it today!

Moses heard the people of every family wailing at the entrance to their tents. The Lord became exceedingly angry, and Moses was troubled. He asked the Lord, “Why have you brought this trouble on your servant? What have I done to displease you that you put the burden of all these people on me? Did I conceive all these people? Did I give them birth? Why do you tell me to carry them in my arms, as a nurse carries an infant, to the land you promised on oath to their ancestors? Where can I get meat for all these people? They keep wailing to me, ‘Give us meat to eat!’ I cannot carry all these people by myself; the burden is too heavy for me. If this is how you are going to treat me, please go ahead and kill me—if I have found favor in your eyes—and do not let me face my own ruin.” Numbers 11:10-15

“A pastor should not complain about his congregation, certainly never to other people, but also not to God. A congregation has not been entrusted to him in order that he should become its accuser before God and men. When a person becomes alienated from a Christian community in which he has been placed and begins to raise complaints about it, he had better examine himself first to see whether the trouble is not due to his wish dream that should be shattered by God; and if this be the case, let him thank God for leading him into this predicament. But if not, let him nevertheless guard against ever becoming an accuser of the congregation before God. Let him rather accuse himself for his unbelief. Let him pray God for an understanding of his own failure and his particular sin, and pray that he may not wrong his brethren. Let him, in the consciousness of his own guilt, make intercession for his brethren. Let him do what he is committed to do, and thank God.”

Dietrich Bonhoeffer in Life Together: The Classic Exploration of Christian Community (New York: Harper One, 1954) 29-30.

Moses was frustrated with the complaining of the people of God. That led him to complain. We don’t have to follow his example.

While serving in a context riddled with challenges, we don’t have to add ourselves to the list.

This examine series is unraveling me, in a good way. It’s amazing to consider the things we complain about, isn’t it? And notice the keen insights from Bonhoeffer.

When we complain it alienates us from community. Rather than give grace, we give anti-grace.

That’s right, we distance ourselves from the place where we get what we need, and where God designed us to contribute, but failing to extend grace. That adversely shapes our generosity.

But it does not have to be that way, long term.

God help us examine our hearts and guard against becoming accusers and help us to confess our sin and to thank you for predicaments which humble and conform us into the image of your Son, Jesus, in whose name we pray, Amen.

What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? Romans 6:1-2

“Man, originally was of one constant, uniform frame of spirit, held one straight and even course; not one thought or faculty was disordered: his mind had a perfect knowledge of the requirements of God, his will a perfect compliance therewith; all his appetites and powers stood in a most obedient subordination.

Man, by the apostacy, is become a most disordered and rebellious creature, opposing his Maker, as the First Cause, by self-dependence; as the Chief Good, by self-love; as the Highest Lord, by self-will; and as the Last End by self-seeking. Thus, he is quite disordered, and all his actions are irregular.

But by regeneration the disordered soul is set right; this great change being, as the Scripture expresses it, the renovation of the soul after the image of God, in which self-dependence is removed by faith; self-love, by the love of God; self-will, by subjection and obedience to the will of God; and self-seeking by self-denial.

The darkened understanding is illuminated, the refractory will sweetly subjected, the rebellious appetite gradually conquered. Thus, the soul which sin had universally depraved, is by grace restored. This being pre-supposed, it will not be difficult to apprehend what it is to keep the heart, which is nothing but the constant care and diligence of such a renewed man to preserve his soul in that holy frame to which grace has raised it.

For though grace has, in a great measure, rectified the soul, and given it an habitual heavenly temper; yet sin often actually discomposes it again; so that even a gracious heart is like a musical instrument, which though it be exactly tuned, a small matter brings it out of tune again. Yea, hang it aside but a little, and it will need setting again before another lesson can be played upon it.

If gracious hearts are in a desirable frame in one duty, yet how dull, dead, and disordered when they come to another… To keep the heart then, is carefully to preserve it from sin, which disorders it; and maintain that spiritual frame which fits it for a life of communion with God… Now, reader, consider well these special benefits of keeping the heart which I have mentioned. Examine their importance.”

John Flavel in Treatise on Keeping the Heart: Selected from the Works of The Rev. John Flavel (New York: America Tract Society) 9, 107

The Spirit desires to set right that which is broken in each of us.

Yet, like an unused instrument, we quickly get out of tune and may become useless rather than useful.

How might your instrument appear?

Is it dull, dead, and disordered? Or rather, is it ready to perform its one duty? Only you an answer this.

Disordered selves cause us to depend on, love, and follow our will rather than Christ.

Examine the importance of keeping your heart. Don’t let the power of sin discompose you or your generosity.

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? Matthew 7:3

“This is a way that flesh and blood has little skill in. You will say, ‘How is this?’ In this manner: are you afflicted, and is there a great load and burden on you because of your affliction? You think there is no way in the world to get contentment, but, O that this burden were but off! O it is a heavy load, and few
know what a burden I have. What, do you think that there is no way for the contentment of your spirit, but to get rid of your burden? O you are deceived.

The way of contentment is to add another burden, that is, to labor to load and burden your heart with your sin; the heavier the burden of your sin is to your heart, the lighter will the burden of your affliction be to your heart, and so you shall come to be content. If you burden were lightened, that would content you; you think there is no way to lighten it but to get it off. But you are deceived; for if you can get your heart to be more burdened with your sin, you will be less burdened with your afflictions.

You will say, this is a strange way for a man or woman to get ease to their condition, to lay a greater burden upon them when they are already burdened? You think there is no other way, when you are afflicted, but to be jolly and merry, and get into company. Oh now, you are deceived, your burden will come
again. Alas, this is a poor way to get one’s spirit quitted; poor man, the burden will be upon him again. If you would have your burden light, get alone and examine your heart for your sin, and charge your soul with your sin.

If your burden is in your possessions, for the abuse of them, or if it is a burden upon your body, for the abuse of your health and strength, and the abuse of any mercies that now the Lord has taken away from you, that you have not honored God with those mercies that you have had, but you have walked wantonly and carelessly; if you so fall to bemoaning your sin before the Lord, you shall quickly find the burden of your affliction to be lighter than it was before. Do but try this piece of skill and art, to get your souls contented with any low circumstances that God puts you into.”

Jeremiah Burroughs (1600-1646) in The Rare Jewel Of Christian Contentment (Preach the Word) 27.

When I think about what’s wrong around me in India, I realize I could be come cold and critical quickly. This examine work in 2025 helps deliver me from such pride and consider the plank in my own eye.

Burroughs calls this plank another burden. When we acknowledge and take responsibility for our own sin, including misuse of possessions, it becomes the pathway for freedom and contentment.

As I pray and confess my own sins rather than call out all the sins I see around me. And I hope that makes me more gracious and generous in my living, giving, serving and loving and pray it helps you too.