Meditations

But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. 1 Timothy 6:8

“Some seek to eat and drink well, and inordinately they covet ease of the body, and would to God that they were even clean in their lives. As long as they live thus, they shall never be enlightened. And just as much as those of old times were mild and overflowing in charity, and retained nothing for themselves, so now these men are many of them grasping and avaricious, nor will they forgo anything.

This is all completely contrary and unlike to the saints and to the common way of life of which we have spoken. I speak of affairs as they generally are: let each man examine himself, and instruct and reprimand himself if he have need of it. And should he have no need of it, let him have joy and rest and peace in his good conscience, and let him serve and love God, and be of profit to himself and to all men in Gods honor.”

Jan van Ruysbroek (1293-1381) in The Spiritual Espousals (London: Faber and Faber, 1952) 133.

When I travel to places that have extreme poverty, it impacts me deeply. I see it whilst driving to and from meetings. I am collected by a driver and witness destitution en route to my destination.

Infants sitting on the streets in squalor shock me. I see defecation on driveways and public urination. And while I give thanks that my work strengthens stewards serving in this setting, it’s still hard.

I experience cognitive overload or, in plain terms, too much troubling information. Yet, a good outcome is that it leads me to examine myself, thoughts, and motives, and fuels the fire of my heart to serve.

In his classic work, The Spiritual Espousals, Jan van Ruysbroek says from there to instruct and reprimand myself – to beat my body as needed and bring it to subjection, as the apostle Paul would say.

Perhaps you can relate?

Whether you travel internationally or catch a glimpse of deep brokenness or genuine need in your own town, I think the key is to pause and consider what does it mean to love and serve God in that moment.

This week two famous quotes have played in my mind like audio and video clips

I can hear the early church pastor of Hermas whisper.

“Instead of fields, then, purchase souls that have been afflicted, insofar as you can, and take care of widows and orphans and do not neglect them; spend your wealth and all your furnishings for such fields and houses as you have received from God.” Shepherd of Hermas 50.8.

And I can see this scene play over and over in my mind.

And the heartbreaking scene from the 1993 film Schindler’s List, when Oskar Schindler breaks down with sadness and regret that he didn’t do everything he could to save more Jews when he proclaimed, “I could have gotten one more person… and I didn’t! And I… I didn’t!”.

As I examine my own life, I hope you also examine yours.

I pray the examine takes us to places of simplicity, humility, gratitude, and generosity. While we cannot solve all the world’s problems, we must not stop at doing what we can as God leads us.

With the wide doors of opportunity in front of me this week, what I resolve that I can do is help shape the future of ministry administration and governance in India and Bangladesh. So I will do precisely that.

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:32

“In self-examination, take no account of yourself by your thoughts and resolutions in the days of religion and solemnity; examine how it is with you in the days of ordinary conversation and in the circumstances of secular employment.”

Jeremy Taylor (1612-1667) in Dictionary of Burning Words of Brilliant Writers, compiled by Josiah Hotchkiss Gilbert (New York: Wilbur B. Ketcham, 1895) 117.

Few places in the world have more traffic and chaos in the ordinary and secular spaces of life than India. Look at the size of the land mass that holds 1.5 billion people.

Imagine the need for kindness and compassion here!

On my arrival at 2:00 AM in Hyderabad, no driver welcomed me. After multiple calls to the hotel, my ride arrived after 3:00 AM. It was hard to maintain my composure.

Eventually I learned that the car of the driver had broken down on the way to collect me.

I got this message from an African friend while waiting: “The delay at the airport was for His glory. Thank you so much for all you do in advancing the kingdom of God.”

I recounted that my kindness and compassion to the driver in Jamaica led him to give his life to Jesus Christ. I examine that I need to keep this in the front of my mind in the ordinary and secular spaces here.

As I type this, I am sitting in my hotel in Mumbai, a city bustling with 22 million people, about to go walk on a treadmill, then eat breakfast, and go speak at a conference..

I am realizing that whether I speak at a governance conference or to a hotel manager, everyone needs a generous amount of kindness and compassion.

God make me a conduit of blessing to India for your glory. Make every reader a conduit of blessing wherever they are for your glory. In your mercy, hear our prayers.

“Why do you call me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ and do not do what I say? Luke 6:46

“Let the ground of all thy religious actions be obedience; examine not why it is commanded, but observe it because it is commanded. True obedience neither procrastinates nor questions.”

Frances Quarles (1592-1644) in Dictionary of Burning Words of Brilliant Writers, compiled by Josiah Hotchkiss Gilbert (New York: Wilbur B. Ketcham, 1895) 486.

When Jesus used repetition, He was trying to make a point. His “truly, truly” and “Lord, Lord” statements aimed to get our attention.

Part of examine relates to the areas of our lives where we hear and do and part points to where we hear and do not do. True obedience relates to both hearing and doing.

Quarles keenly notes that “true obedience neither procrastinates nor questions.” By procrastinating, he refers to the times we hear and drag our feet.

By questioning, we recall moments that can be traced all the way back to the garden when Jesus said, “Did God really say?” Related to money, did God really say… and we rationalize disobedience.

Today I did one of the hardest things I have ever done. I crossed a street with no break in traffic in Hyderabad, India.  I made it only by holding the arm of the guy taking me to an important meeting. See the photo above.

It was traumatic. It felt like the old video game Frogger. Then at the meeting I shot two videos to inspire 800 ministries in the India Collaboration to pursue governance and accreditation with NobleRank.

What I learned today is that it is easier to obey the hard sayings of Jesus than it is to cross a street in India. True obedience is the only way to tastes the fruits He desires for us.

It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God. Mark 10:25

“I have known some, in fact, I may say numerous souls, who have reached this state, and for many years lived, apparently, a regular and well-ordered life, both of body and mind. It would seem that they must have gained the mastery over this world, or at least be extremely detached from it, yet if His Majesty sends very moderate trials they become so disturbed and disheartened as not only to astonish but to make me anxious about them. Advice is useless; having practiced virtue for so long they think themselves capable of teaching it, and believe that they have abundant reason to feel miserable.

The only way to help them is to compassionate their troubles; indeed, one cannot but feel sorry at seeing people in such an unhappy state. They must not be argued with, for they are convinced they suffer only for God’s sake, and cannot be made to understand they are acting imperfectly, which is a further error in persons so far advanced. No wonder that they should feel these trials for a time, but I think they ought speedily to overcome their concern about such matters. God, wishing His elect to realize their own misery, often temporarily withdraws His favors: no more is needed to prove to us in a very short time what we really are.

Souls soon learn in this way; they perceive their faults very clearly, and sometimes the discovery of how quickly they are overcome by but slight earthly trials is more painful than the subtraction of God’s sensible favors. I consider that God thus shows them great mercy, for though their behavior may be faulty, yet they gain greatly in humility. Not so with the people of whom I first spoke; they believe their conduct is saintly, and wish others to agree with them. I will give you some examples which will help us to understand and to try ourselves, without waiting for God to try us, since it would be far better to have prepared and examined ourselves beforehand.

A rich man, without son or heir, loses part of his property, but still has more than enough to keep himself and his household. If this misfortune grieves and disquiets him as though he were left to beg his bread, how can our Lord ask him to give up all things for His sake? This man will tell you he regrets losing his money because he wished to bestow it on the poor.

I believe His Majesty would prefer me to conform to His will, and keep peace of soul while attending to my interests, to such charity as this. If this person cannot resign himself because God has not raised him so high in virtue, well and good: let him know that he is wanting in liberty of spirit; let him beg our Lord to grant it him, and be rightly disposed to receive it. Another person has more than sufficient means to live on, when an opportunity occurs for acquiring more property: if it is offered him, by all means let him accept it; but if he must go out of his way to obtain it and then continues working to gain more and more — however good his intention may be (and it must be good, for I am speaking of people who lead prayerful and good lives), he cannot possibly enter the mansions near the King.”

Teresa of Ávila (1515-1582) in Interior Castle Third Mansion, 2.1-5 (Grand Rapids: CCEL) 43-44.

Behind the Bible, of course, there may be no better book on the topic of examine in human history than Interior Castle. Reading Teresa is like talking to a wise person who digs into things no one thinks about but everyone needs to think about.

I am safely to Hyderabad, India. As I read this on my flight, I thought readers might find themselves in different places sketched herein. Some might be disturbed and disheartened. Others might need someone to compassionate their troubles. And a few might, like the rich man, be overcome by losses.

Notice Teresa suggests that we conform to the will of God. This takes our souls to a place of peace, detached from things and attached to the only One who can satisfy. While this is hard for everyone, rich people find this very challenging as they often become too attached to money.

Think about a rich person you know. Or it may be time to look in the mirror to examine! Where are you in this reading? Do you want but not have liberty of spirit, that freedom from thinking you need to acquire things to sustain you?

In the context of today’s biblical text, Jesus looked at the rich man and “loved him” or in Teresa’s words, he modeled what it means to “compassionate their troubles.” Don’t judge or condemn others, especially rich people. Love them and show them how to love God above all else.

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” Psalm 46:10

“Let him that is most busied set apart some solemn time every year, in which, for the time, quitting all worldly business, he may attend wholly to fasting and prayer, and the dressing of his soul by confessions, meditations, and attendances upon God; that he may make up his accounts, renew his vows, make amends for his carelessness, and retire back again, from whence levity and the vanities of the world, or the opportunity of temptations, or the distraction of secular affairs, have carried him.

In this we shall be much assisted, and we shall find the work more easy, if, before we sleep, every night we examine the actions of the past day with a particular scrutiny, if there have been any accident extraordinary; as long discourse, a feast, much business, a variety of company. If nothing but common hath happened, the less examination will suffice; only let us take care that we sleep not without such a recollection of the actions of the day, as may represent any thing that is remarkable and great, either to be the matter of sorrow or thanksgiving: for other things a general care is proportionable.”

Jeremy Taylor (1613-1667) in Holy Living (Grand Rapids: CCEL) 45.

If you feel “most busied” like me, throughout the year I will remind you of the steps of the examen of Ignatius of Loyola (1491-1556). It has five steps.

1. Become aware of God’s presence.
2. Review the day with gratitude.
3. Pay attention to your emotions.
4. Choose one feature of the day and pray from it.
5. Look toward tomorrow.

A century after Ignatius, I find it interesting that Taylor calls for a similar daily rhythm in today’s post. So, don’t see the examen as Catholic or Protestant.

It’s a great rhythm for followers of Jesus everywhere. It positions us to grow in gratitude and thanksgiving, without which we cannot live give, serve and love generously.

It’s been great to be stateside for some solemn time. Now I see my flights as my solemn moments for personal scrutiny. I have to discipline myself to not work the whole time.

I must report regarding GTP. As I reflect on the year-end I am flooded with gratitude to God. We needed 100 monthly givers and God raised up 104 from 30 countries.

That positions us for submitting another major grant in the coming weeks. Thanks for your prayers for our team as we get that done.

When this posts, I will be somewhere between Frankfurt, Germany and Hyderabad, India. Thanks for your prayers for safe and fruitful ministry over the next two weeks.

But by the grace of God I am what I am, and His grace to me was not without effect. No, I worked harder than all of them — yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me. 1 Corinthians 15:10

“The peace of Jesus Christ be always with you.

You must know that before curing you of vanity God wills to make you feel all the ugliness of this accursed passion, and to convince you thoroughly of your powerlessness to cure it, so that all the glory of your cure should revert to Him alone. You have, then, in this matter, only two things to do.

Firstly, to examine peacefully this frightful interior ugliness. Secondly, to hope for and await in peace from God alone the moment fixed for your cure. You will never be at rest till you have learnt to distinguish what is from God from that which is your own; to separate what belongs to Him from what belongs to yourself.

You add, “How can you teach me this secret.”

You do not understand what you are saying. I can easily teach it to you in a moment, but you cannot learn to practice it until you have been made to feel, in peace, all your miseries. I say, in peace, to give room for the operations of grace.”

Jean-Pierre de Caussade in Abandonment to Divine Providence (Grand Rapids: CCEL, 1751) 206.

How powerful the idea – to need the cure of vanity and ugliness – and to admit that you and I are powerless to cure it. But we have hope, and that hope rests in God alone.

And how ironic to see where giving comes into view. We must “give room for the operations of grace.” Let’s take this counterintuitive and critical step as the new year begins.

The apostle Paul describe himself at working harder at this and yet experiencing transformed because of the grace of God at work in Him. May this same grace work in each of us as we “give room.”

Today I fly to Germany en route to India and Bangladesh where I will serve over the next 2 weeks. While I minister, my own examine work must continue.

I need God to help me distinguish what is from Him from that which is my own. I resolve to examine peacefully and hope for and wait for God to work in me (and you) one day at a time.

Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting. Psalm 139:23-24

To “Know yourself” is good advice. But to know ourselves doesn’t mean to analyze ourselves. Sometimes we want to know ourselves as if we were machines that could be taken apart and put back together at will. At certain critical times in our lives it might be helpful to explore in some detail the events that led us to our crises, but we make a mistake when we think that we can ever completely understand ourselves and explain the full meaning of our lives to others. Solitude, silence, and prayer are often the best ways to self-knowledge. Not because they offer solutions for the complexity of our lives but because they bring us in touch with our sacred center, where God dwells. That sacred center may not be analyzed. It is the place of adoration, thanksgiving, and praise.

Henri Nouwen in Bread for the Journey (HarperCollins ebooks) reading for 22 March.

I needed to hear this. I sometimes approach the examine as analyzing myself, as Nouwen puts it, and miss the experience of knowing both myself and God in the process.

His exhortation that knowing comes from solitude, silence, and prayer is spot on. And David, the psalmist, shares the heart of the prayer in his words today.

As we start 2025, please make sure your examine includes this knowing that helps you connect with God and yourself in a deep way.

As Nouwen rightly concludes, “That sacred center may not be analyzed. It is the place of adoration, thanksgiving, and praise.”

Our generosity and service then flows out of such a space of worship.

The fire must be kept burning on the altar continuously; it must not go out. Leviticus 6:13

“Keep the altar of private prayer burning. This is the very life of all piety. The sanctuary and family altars borrow their fires here, therefore let this burn well. Secret devotion is the very essence, evidence, and barometer, of vital and experimental religion. Burn here the fat of your sacrifices. Let your closet seasons be, if possible, regular, frequent, and undisturbed. Effectual prayer availeth much. Have you nothing to pray for? Let us suggest the Church, the ministry, your own soul, your children, your relations, your neighbors, your country, and the cause of God and truth throughout the world.

Let us examine ourselves on this important matter. Do we engage with lukewarmness in private devotion? Is the fire of devotion burning dimly in our hearts? Do the chariot wheels drag heavily? If so, let us be alarmed at this sign of decay. Let us go with weeping, and ask for the Spirit of grace and of supplications. Let us set apart special seasons for extraordinary prayer. For if this fire should be smothered beneath the ashes of a worldly conformity, it will dim the fire on the family altar, and lessen our influence both in the Church and in the world.

The text will also apply to the altar of the heart. This is a golden altar indeed. God loves to see the hearts of His people glowing towards Himself. Let us give to God our hearts, all blazing with love, and seek His grace, that the fire may never be quenched; for it will not burn if the Lord does not keep it burning. Many foes will attempt to extinguish it; but if the unseen hand behind the wall pour thereon the sacred oil, it will blaze higher and higher. Let us use texts of Scripture as fuel for our heart’s fire, they are live coals; let us attend sermons, but above all, let us be much alone with Jesus.”

Charles Haddon Spurgeon in Morning and Evening: Daily Readings (Grand Rapids: CCEL) morning reading for for 15 July.

How do we avoid lukewarmness in our faith? How do we avoid worldly conformity in our generosity? How do we abide in the love and grace of God? How do we keep the fire burning on the altar of our hearts? Secret devotion and special seasons.

Prioritize secret devotion. Set apart time to be “much alone” with Jesus. Make it more important than anything else in your daily rhythms. More importantly than your spouse, your family, your work, or anything else.

Not spouse first, family first, work first, or anything else first. Make it God first.

Get this out of order and you will will not right love and serve your spouse, your family, your work, or anything else. Because your love and service will not flow from a vibrant relationship with God.

Beyond that, map out “special season” as Spurgeon put it to stoke the fires of your heart.

Perhaps this exploration of “examine” marks a special season for you. It is doing that for me. I find myself asking the Lord to show me my sins and root them out and to reveal to me my disordered attachments and reorder them.

This effort leaves me not weaker but stronger. The inward journey prepares me for outward service. What about you?

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are — yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. Hebrews 4:15-16

“When we enter upon the spiritual we should consider, and examine to the bottom, what we are. And then we should find ourselves worthy of all contempt, and such as do not deserve the name of Christians, subject to all kinds of misery, and numberless accidents, which trouble us, and cause perpetual vicissitudes in our health, in our humors, in our internal and external dispositions: in fine, persons whom God would humble by many pains and labors, as well within as without. After this, we should not wonder that troubles, temptations, oppositions and contradictions, happen to us from men. We ought, on the contrary, to submit ourselves to them, and bear them as long as God pleases, as things highly advantageous to us. That the greater perfection a soul aspires after, the more dependent it is upon divine grace.”

Brother Lawrence (1605-1691) in The Practice of the Presence of God: The Best Rule of Holy Life (London: Epworth Press) 8.

When we look at the idea of examine in the thinking one of the greatest Christian writings of all time, we realize we don’t deserve the label ‘Christian’ and become, more than ever, dependent on divine grace.

We also discover that the only right way to navigate the troubles, temptations, oppositions and contradictions of life is to face them, embrace them, and as Brother Lawrence says, submit ourselves to them and bear them as long as God desires.

I had a great but brief visit to see my parents. Their days are numbered, but they are in a good place for now. When you think about it, days are numbered for all of us. Only those who pause to examine themselves, will make the most of them. Will you?

Now if your countryman becomes destitute and cannot support himself among you, then you are to help him as you would a foreigner or stranger, so that he can continue to live among you. Leviticus 25:35

“This duty is absolutely commanded, and much insisted on, in the Word of God. Where have we any command in the Bible laid down in stronger terms, and in a more peremptory urgent manner, than the command of giving to the poor? We have the same law in a positive manner laid down in Leviticus 25:35. . .

It is mentioned in Scripture, not only as a duty, but a great duty. Indeed it is generally acknowledged to be a duty, to be kind to the needy. But by many it seems not to be looked upon as a duty of great importance. However, it is mentioned in Scripture as one of the greater and more essential duties. . .

It is most reasonable, considering the general state and nature of mankind. This is such as renders it most reasonable that we should love our neighbor as ourselves; for men are made in the image of our God, and on this account are worthy of our love.

A selfish spirit is very unsuitable to the nature and state of mankind. He who is all for himself, and none for his neighbors, deserves to be cut off from the benefit of human society, and to be turned out among wild beasts, to subsist by himself as well as he can. A private niggardly spirit is more suitable for wolves, and other beasts of prey, than for human beings.

To love our neighbor as ourselves is the sum of the moral law respecting our fellow creatures. And to help them, and to contribute to their relief is the most natural expression of this love. It is vain to pretend to a spirit of love to our neighbors, when it is grievous to us to part with anything for their help, when under calamity. . .

Apply these things to yourselves. And inquire whether you do not lie under guilt on account of the neglect of this duty, in withholding that charity which God requires of you towards the needy? You have often been put upon examining yourselves, whether you do not live in some way displeasing to God.”

Jonathan Edwards (1703-1758) in “Of the obligation of Christians to perform the duty of charity to the poor” in Christian Charity or The Duty of Charity to the Poor, Explained and Enforced (1732).

Visiting my parents has me thinking about my own duty as a son to care for my parents. It also makes me think of the larger duty we all have as disciples of Jesus to those needing help. A key to discerning our duty can be found in the word ‘destitute’ in today’s Scripture.

God does not want us to give handouts that create dependency. He wants us to give a hand up to those who need it, when they need it. Notice in the text, the person cannot make it on their own. They need some help. We might say in modern terms, they need a helping hand.

Notice that Edwards, who never minces his words (or never speaks indirectly), calls the person who does not do this duty as possessing a “private niggardly spirit” that is “more suitable for wolves, and other beasts of prey, than for human beings.” Examine your heart along those lines.

At the end of the proverbial day, God sees and knows all. Our job is not to go with the flow as the flow of culture will move us toward that selfish spirit and stinginess and away from Christian duty and caring. With Edwards, let us examine ourselves and do our duty in 2025.