Paul E. Miller: Three-loaf God

Then [Jesus] said to them, “Suppose one of you has a friend, and goes to him at midnight and says to him, ‘Friend, lend me three loaves; for a friend of mine has come to me from a journey, and I have nothing to set before him’; and from inside he answers and says, ‘Do not bother me; the door has already been shut and my children and I are in bed; I cannot get up and give you anything.’ I tell you, even though he will not get up and give him anything because he is his friend, yet because of his persistence he will get up and give him as much as he needs. Luke 11:5-8

“In the parable of the friend at midnight, the host bangs on his neighbor’s door at midnight to borrow three loaves of bread because a friend has come. The neighbor yells at the host to stop bothering him because he is in bed. Finally, he realizes that since he can’t sleep with the host pounding on his door, he might as well give him the three loaves just to shut him up. Like the unjust judge [in Luke 18:1-8], he may not be generous, but he isn’t stupid.

Why three loaves? One loaf is for the friend at midnight. A second loaf is for himself so his friend does not eat alone. Then when his friend finishes eating, the host will offer him a third loaf to show his generosity. The host doesn’t want to look cheap. His reputation and the reputation of the community are at stake. In summary, the first loaf is for his friend’s physical need. The second is for his relational need, for community. The third loaf is for his heart need, to be loved. We have a three-loaf God. He loves to give.”

Paul E. Miller in A Praying Life: Connecting with God in a Distracting World (Colorado Springs: NavPress, 2009) 134-135.

This parable is fitting for Lent as we focus our attention on prayer. I love the first-century cultural insights that Miller brings into view showing how we serve a three-loaf God who cares for our physical, relational, and deepest heart-level needs.

Part of the aim of Lent is learning new prayer rhythms. Today’s reading struck me because I’ve been disciplining myself to do stretching to help my physical body, while praying for different people close to me in my life (family and friends), and in so doing I am experiencing a deeper connection with God.

We serve a generous God, a three-loaf God, who wants to connect with us, despite the noise that fills our lives and the stuff that fills our schedules. He wants to meet our needs at all levels. Once we learn this first hand, we get a glimpse of what it means to be generous toward others.

During the days of Jesus’ life on earth, He offered up prayers and petitions with fervent cries and tears to the One who could save Him from death, and He was heard because of His reverent submission. Hebrews 5:7

“Surrender of the heart to God includes every possible way of obedience to God because it means giving up one’s very being to God’s good pleasure. Since this surrender is effected by unalloyed love, it includes in its embrace every kind of operation His good pleasure may bring to pass.

Thus at every moment we practice a surrender that has no limits, a surrender that includes all possible methods and degrees of service to God. It is not our business to decide what the ultimate purpose of such submission may be, but our sole duty is to submit ourselves to all that God sends us and to stand ready to do His will at all times.

What God requires of the soul is the essence of self-surrender. The free gifts he asks from us are self-denial, obedience, and love. The rest is His business.”

Jean-Pierre de Caussade (1675-1751) in “Surrender is Everything” in Bread and Wine: Readings for Lent and Easter (Maryknoll: Orbis, 2005) 26-27.

This Lent I feel God leading me to focus inwardly rather than outwardly. So much of the focus of Lent can be performed as outward acts (giving, prayer, and fasting) from a heart that is neither soft nor submissive.

The life of Jesus, from the beginning to the end of His earthly ministry, reflects that His focus was always on “the Father’s business” and to do “the Father’s will” in every situation. Want that to be true of you too?

For it to be so, Jean-Pierre urges us to give God the gifts of self-denial, obedience, and love. These gifts come from inside us. For those who do, God takes care of the rest. Our lives and our purpose will fulfill His good pleasure.

If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them. Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. Do to others as you would have them do to you. Luke 6:29-31

“When the Divine Master tells me to give to whoever asks of me, and to let what is mine be taken without asking it again, it seems to me that He speaks not only of the goods of earth, but also the goods of heaven.”

Thérèse of Lisieux (1873-1897) in Lent and Easter: Wisdom from St. Thérèse of Lisieux, ed. by John Cleary (Liguori: Liguori, 2015) 14.

With Thérèse, I am learning to be openhanded with regard to more than merely material things.

Two days ago I had a ton of work to do, but a friend stopped over who was struggling. I welcomed the interruption and am glad I did. While our fellowship took time, he needed something I had in abundance: love, truth, kindness, grace, and sympathy.

We are on this earth to dispense more than just the goods of earth, but also the goods of heaven. Others need them and may request them at inopportune times! The good news is that our Divine Master freely offers us an infinite supply to replenish whatever we distribute.

I must conclude with blessing as our son, Samuel David Hoag, turns 21 years old today. Anyone who knows him knows he shares the goods of earth and heaven freely.

Father in heaven, bless Sammy today (and every day) by your Holy Spirit for his commitment to living an openhanded life, always eager to share and serve those around him. Supply him abundantly, both materially and spiritually, so that His generous life blesses many and brings you glory. Hear this prayer in the name of Jesus. Amen.

Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. Luke 9:23

“Self-denial is never just a series of isolated acts of mortification or asceticism. It is not suicide, for there is an element of self-will even in that. To deny oneself is to be aware only of Christ and no more of self, to see only Him who goes before and no more the road which is too hard for us. Once more, all thats self-denial can say is: “He leads the way, keep close to Him.”

Dietrich Bonhoeffer (1906-1945) in Cost of Discipleship (New York: SCM, 1959) 88. I came across part of this quote in reading God is on the Cross: Reflections on Lent and Easter by Dietrich Bonhoeffer, which led me back to his classic work, Cost of Discipleship. A must-read for everyone!

Week two of Lent starts today. “Self-denial” comes into view.

Bonhoeffer calls us to focus on Christ versus self. In similar terms the Apostle Paul urges us to live according to the Spirit rather than the flesh (cf. Colossians 3:5-7; Romans 8:13). Why does it matter? All acts in the flesh are like filthy rags (cf. Isaiah 64:6), but a fruit of the Spirit is generosity (cf. Galatians 5:22-23). Apart from the Spirit, there is no generosity!

There is an “a-ha” moment that some experience in Lent. Not everyone gets it. I missed it for years. Here is its: Disciplines linked to self-denial are not seeking to rob us of anything; they free us to take hold of something better. I don’t know what God has for you this Lent, but deny yourself, take up your cross, and follow Him. That’s the only way to find out.

“He leads the way, keep close to Him.”

Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? Matthew 6:25-27

“Lent provides us with the grace-filled opportunity to reflect upon, and name our own sacred struggles. To recognize and accept that which we are most anxious about, that which keeps us up at night, that which prevents us from growing in our faith, hope, and trust…Are there any prayer intentions that you’ve been hesitant to name? Sacred struggles you dare not ask God to meet? Healings or forgiveness that you aren’t sure whether you are prepared for? What are you most anxious about now? As part of our commitment to be people of prayer and to embrace our sacred struggles, I would like to invite you to…jot down your Lenten prayer intention…your “sacred struggle” if you will, that is preventing you from growing and thriving in your faith.”

Tony Zimmer in his homily entitled “Sacred Struggle” on 26 February 2017 at St. Anthony on the Lake in Pewaukee, WI. Thanks to my friend, John Stanley, for alerting me to this message, and to Ben Brzeski for getting a copy of it for me.

As the first week of Lent draws to a close, I would encourage you to make the most of the opportunity to go deeper in your experience of prayer this Lent. With Zimmer, remember that it’s a “grace-filled opportunity” to lift up to God anything and everything that brings you anxiety.

Such things become “sacred struggles” because we get stuck. We lose sleep. We worry. We start making other decisions that reflect the anxiety swelling within us. With Zimmer, let us give God our “sacred struggles” this Lent and see what happens to our faith.

How does this relate to generosity? When our lives are filled with worry and anxiety, we tend to hoard in fear rather than live open-handed, generous lives! Make the most of your prayer time this Lent, and I think your generosity will blossom along with your faith!

As a bonus for those who like to add music to their prayer time, click to listen to “Gracious God” by Jesse Manibusan. It’s a beautiful song that St. Anthony on the Lake is using this Lent. You will notice it speaks of the sacred struggle in the second verse. Enjoy it in your time with our Lord today.

Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water so that I won’t get thirsty and have to keep coming here to draw water.” John 4:13-15

“Think of poverty. Even outward poverty, a hard and simple life, the dropping for love’s sake of the many things we feel we ‘must have’ is a great help in the way of the Spirit. Far more precious is that inward poverty of which is the sacrament; which frees us from possessions and possessiveness and does away with the clutch of ‘the I, the Me and the Mine’ upon our souls. We can all strive for this internal grace. This is an attitude of soul, and it is a very important part of the life of prayer. The Holy Spirit is called the Giver of gifts and the Father of the poor; but His cherishing action is only really felt by those who acknowledge their own deep poverty – who realize that we have literally nothing of our own, but are totally dependent on God and on that natural world in which God has placed us and which is the sacramental vehicle of His action. When we grasp this we are ready to receive His gifts. Some souls are so full of pious furniture and ornaments, that there is no room for Him. All the correct things have been crammed into a poor little villa, but none of the best quality. They need to pull down the curtains, get rid of the knick-knacks, and throw their premises open to the great simplicity of God.”

Evelyn Underhill (1875-1941) in Lent with Evelyn Underhill, ed. by G.P. Mellick Belshaw (Harrisburg: Morehouse, 1990) 20.

Underhill is spot on. Inward poverty “frees us from possessions and possessiveness” that seeks to dominate our souls. How do we take hold of this? Through the Lenten practices of giving, praying, and fasting, we realize “we have literally nothing of our own” but what God has given us. We embrace that we “are totally dependent on God” and only then are we “ready to receive His gifts” for us and others.

Can a cup that is full of water receive living water so that it never thirsts again? Of course not! Inward poverty is about emptying that which crowds out God and His good gifts to make room for that which is best. It’s what Jesus invited the woman at the well to grasp for her sake and for blessing her village (cf. John 4:1-42). Is there anything that is crowding out God and His good gifts for you and others? Any “pious furniture and ornaments” that need to go?

Father in heaven, we pause in solitude and prayer today to acknowledge our total dependence on You. Show us the things in our lives that crowd out You and Your good gifts. Help us by your Holy Spirit to identify and remove them. Fill us to overflowing so that we are satisfied and eager to share. Like the woman at the well, may our joyful sharing in the villages where You have placed us, help others find life in You too. Make it so we pray in the name of Jesus. Amen.

In purity, understanding, patience and kindness; in the Holy Spirit and in sincere love; in truthful speech and in the power of God; with weapons of righteousness in the right hand and in the left; through glory and dishonor, bad report and good report; genuine, yet regarded as impostors; known, yet regarded as unknown; dying, and yet we live on; beaten, and yet not killed; sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor, yet making many rich; having nothing, and yet possessing everything. 2 Corinthians 6:6-10

“Such exercises as fasting cannot have their proper effect unless our motives for practicing them spring from personal mediation. We have to think what we are doing, and the reason for our action must spring from the depths of our freedom and be enlivened by the transforming power of Christian love. Otherwise, our self-imposed sacrifices are likely to be pretenses, symbolic gestures without real meaning. Sacrifices made in this fashion would be better left unmade.”

Thomas Merton (1915-1968) in Contemplative Prayer (New York: Image Books, 1969) 52.

The Apostle Paul lived with intentionality. His focus, and that of his colleagues, was enduring anything in order to minister to others with love empowered by the Holy Spirit. Merton, and the rest of us much later, have to “think what we are doing” in order to do things for the right reasons. Fasting is one of those things.

Saying “NO” to something to say “YES” to other things wins no favor before God. It’s a waste of time and energy. So what should we do? Lent is about learning to say “NO” to the flesh so we can say “YES” to the Spirit. When we do, the transforming power of God works in us and “having nothing, and yet possessing everything” God makes us into generous conduits of His love.

As he taught, Jesus said, “Watch out for the teachers of the law. They like to walk around in flowing robes and be greeted with respect in the marketplaces, and have the most important seats in the synagogues and the places of honor at banquets. They devour widows’ houses and for a show make lengthy prayers. These men will be punished most severely.” Mark 12:38-40

“The noonday devil of the Christian life is the temptation to lose the inner self while preserving the shell of edifying behavior. Suddenly I discover that I am ministering to AIDS victims to enhance my résumé. I find I renounced ice cream for Lent to lose five excess pounds. I drop hints about the absolute priority of meditation and contemplation to create the impression that I am a man of prayer. At some unremembered moment I have lost the connection between internal purity of heart and external works of piety. In the most humiliating sense of the word, I have become a legalist. I have fallen victim to what T.S. Eliot calls the greatest sin: to do the right thing for the wrong reason.”

Brennan Manning (1934-2013) in The Ragamuffin Gospel: Good News for the Bedraggled, Beat-Up, and Burnt Out (Colorado Springs: Multnomah, 2005) 121.

Why beat this warning drum so early in Lent? Related to our generosity, God cares about the condition of our hearts, not our external “works of piety”. If our hearts are right, the works will follow suit.

How’s your heart condition today? Ask God that question in silence, and see how the Spirit speaks to you.

Meanwhile His disciples urged Him, “Rabbi, eat something.” But He said to them, “I have food to eat that you know nothing about.” Then His disciples said to each other, “Could someone have brought him food?” “My food,” said Jesus, “is to do the will of Him who sent me and to finish His work.” John 4:31-34

“Fasting is not so much about abstaining from eating food as it is about finding an entirely new source of food…This is an intense idea. Food is a good thing, until it has become the main thing, and for so many of us (present company included) food has become the main thing. Can we just call it? My food is not to do the will of God but rather, pizza and steak and bar-b-que and lots of chips and salsa and Panda Express and I’ll stop there. My life, all too often, revolves around food. I think about it way too much. No sooner have I finished lunch than I start thinking about dinner.

Don’t you think Jesus would like to take us to this place with him — where we are fed at the deepest level from doing the will of God? Wouldn’t that be awesome?! Again, food is a good thing, until it has become the main thing. I think if my food were doing the will of God that normal food might taste even better.

So how might we get to such a place in our experience of Eternal Life? It brings me back to the practice of fasting. I’ve been learning a lot about fasting over the past couple of years. I’ve mostly thought about fasting in the same way I think about dieting — as a temporary alteration of my normal pattern in order to gain some kind of positive benefit. In my experience, dieting does not produce lasting change. I am coming to think that dieting is all wrong, because it just means swapping out one kind of food for another (until you can’t stand it anymore or the Swiss Cake Rolls come calling). What needs to change is not so much the food I eat but my overall relationship with food. With this kind of change, my diet will cease to be an aberration from the norm and begin to be a new normal.

The same might be said of fasting. What needs to change is not my technical practice of fasting but my overall relationship with God. With this kind of change, my fasting will cease to be an aberration from the norm and begin to be a new normal.

Now, the fascinating thing about fasting in the way of Jesus is it will not only change your relationship with God, it will change your relationship with food. I’ll push it a step further and speculate that my disordered relationship with food may actually be a symptom that I have a disordered relationship with God.”

J.D. Walt in “The Critical Difference Between Fasting and Dieting” blogpost on 2 March 2017.

This is an excellent summary of “the fascinating thing about fasting in the way of Jesus” for those who don’t understand fasting during Lent or the rest of the Christian life. I hope this is helpful.

This Lent, I am learning to let go of something I thought I needed to grab hold of God who is all I need. In so doing, I am already realizing He satisfies in a way nothing else does. Try fasting. See for yourself.

Fasting also shapes our generosity because the food God gives us is to do His will and finish His work. Our lives are fueled by more than food, but by the springs of living water that flow from Him.

Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will never fail, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. Luke 12:33

“About the same time also my wife and I had grace given to us to take the Lord’s commandment, “Sell that ye have, and give alms,” Luke xii. 33, literally, and to carry it out. Our staff and support in this matter were Matthew vi.19—34, John xiv. 13—14. We leaned on the arm of the Lord Jesus. It is now twenty-nine years, since we set out in this way, and we do not in the least regret the step we then took. Our God also has, in His tender mercy, given us grace to abide in the same mind concerning the above points, both as it regards principle and practice; and this has been the means of letting us see the tender love and care of our God over His children, even in the most minute things, in a way in which we never experimentally knew them before; and it has, in particular, made the Lord known to us more fully than we knew him before, as a prayer hearing God.”

George Müller (1805-1898) in A Narrative of Some of the Lord’s Dealings with George Müller. Written by Himself. First Part (London: J. Nisbit & Co., 1860) 69-70.

Giving alms, that is, sharing your surplus to meet someone’s deficit, is not a suggestion from our Lord, but a command. People are afraid of it. The more money they have, the more they are afraid to let it go. Truth be told, Jenni and I were terrified too. We thought (wrongly!) that those who obeyed would end up empty, so we ignored Jesus. We did for about the first 17 or so years of our marriage.

No wonder Lent begins with repentance (Ash Wednesday)! The time for practicing selective inattention to “hard teachings” of Jesus is over. We must change directions (that’s what “repentance” means)! No one is immune to this. It applies to all of us.

As we enter Lent, it’s encouraging to read from the personal testimony of George Müller that after 29 years of giving alms and leaning on the “arm of the Lord Jesus” that Jesus not only heard their prayers, but ministered to them by meeting even “minute” needs.

What Müller discovered long before us, and what we have found to be true is this: when we obey this command of Jesus, we don’t end up empty, but rather, enriched for greater generosity, because our God is a prayer hearing God, and we are His hands and feet. Some times we get to bless, and other times we receive the blessing.

Give alms this Lent. Our Lord commands it. Your life will never be the same, and you won’t regret it because we serve a prayer hearing God!