Use the following questions to help you recall your story of the formation of your relationship with money in three stages.
1. Your Past Story
What was the prevailing attitude about money in your family during your childhood and adolescence: Never enough? Plenty? Talked about? Secretive?
Who controlled the money in your family of origin? Why?
As a child, how did you come to have money? Did you get an allowance? Did you work? Did you ask for money when you needed it? How do you remember feeling about this?
As a young adult (high school, college) how did you come to have money? Did you work? Did you ask for money when you needed it? How do you remember feeling about this?
How did the amount of money you had as a young adult influence your feelings of self-worth? Did it impact your lifestyle?
What do you remember seeing and hearing about giving to others, including the congregation? Who taught you about charitable giving?
Who stands out as your primary role model for what you learned about money management?
2. Your Present Story
How would you describe your present attitude toward money?
Do you discuss your financial situation with any other person? How comfortable are you talking about your personal finances?
Who controls the money in your family now? Are there differing attitudes in your family around money?
How does the amount of money you have now influence your feelings of self-worth? How does it impact your lifestyle?
What is your current charitable giving?
3. Your Future Story
In what directions do you sense the Holy Spirit is leading you in your relationship with money?
What would you like to experience differently about your relationship with money?
What values and beliefs inspire you in your relationship with money?
What obstacles and beliefs hinder you in your relationship with money?
What are the next steps in your relationship with money?
“Writing a Money Autobiography” in How Much is Enough? A Deeper Look at Stewardship in An Age of Abundance ed. Catherine Malotky (Columbia, SC, 2011) Appendix A.
What’s your story?
Take some time to journal on these questions. If you are married, carve out time to discuss your answers with your spouse. If not, consider working through your findings with a trusted friend.
Listen well and love one another deeply from the heart because this can be an incredibly personal and transformational spiritual exercise.
What’s my story? Too long to share here, but let me acknowledge the mothers in my life since it’s mother’s day.
I want to thank my grandmother, Erna Hoag, for her reputation. Many said of her, “No one can make a dollar go further than Erna.” She was known for being thrifty as a basis for generosity. My maternal grandmother, Helen “Betty” Gregg, was known by all my friends at college for her care packages, and of course the cookies inside. Her generosity was incredibly thoughtful.
My mother, Patricia “Patsy” Hoag, is legendary for encouraging people with thoughtful gifts. Anyone who knows her, has witnessed her life of simplicity and generosity. My brother, sister and I say that if Mom has two pennies to rub together, she would give them to someone in need, or put them in our hands to deliver to a needy person in order to teach us to care for the poor. My mother-in-law is likewise known for her good works which are always, in some way shape or form, proclaiming the gospel of Jesus Christ from service to song. And my sister is a hero of a mother to me, for her care for her two sons and her faithful love of her husband.
Lastly, as least from what I will share from my own story, I celebrate my wife, Jenni Hoag, for her generous love to me and every person she comes in contact with. She has the heart of mother Teresa for the poor and the mind of Teresa of Avila for providing soul care for people as a spiritual director. I honor her today for joining me in desiring to live out the red letters of Jesus as a testimony to the world of the generosity of God.
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