Tremble and do not sin; Meditate in your heart upon your bed and be still. Selah Psalm 4:4
“Thus he looks with wonder not only on the light of day, but also at the night. For the night is a benediction to all: to those practicing the virtues that pertain to the body it offers stillness and leisure; it encourages the remembrance of death and hell in those who grieve; those engaged in practicing the moral virtues it spurs to study and examine more closely the blessings they have received and the moral state of their soul. In the words of the psalmist, ‘As you lie in bed, repent of what you say in your heart’ (Ps. 4:4. LXX), that is, repent in the stillness of the night, remembering the lapses that occurred in the confusion of the day and disciplining yourself in hymns and spiritual songs (cf. Col. 3:16) – in other words, teaching yourself to persist in prayer and psalmody through attentive meditation on what you read.
For the practice of the moral virtues is effectuated by meditating on what has happened during the day, so that during the stillness of the night we can become aware of the sins we have committed and can grieve over them. When in this way through God’s grace we make some progress, and discover that in truth and not just in fantasy we have realized in either action or thought some moral virtue of soul or body according to Christ’s commandment, then we give thanks with fear and humility; and we struggle to preserve that moral virtue by means of prayer and many tears offered to God, disciplining ourselves to remember it lest we lose it again because of forgetfulness. For it takes much time to make a moral virtue effective in ourselves, while what has been achieved with so much time and effort can be lost in a single instant.”
Peter of Damascus (12th Century) in “Twenty-Four Discourses: Joy” Book 2 in Philokalia V3, 262.
As we explore the term “examine” through church history and its intersection with practice of generosity, many things have come into view for us so far in only a month. Two stand out for me.
Firstly, many early church fathers and mothers, monks and mystics, look back to David and the Psalms and have mapped a practice which Ignatius of Loyola (1491-1556) would later label the Examen. Let me remind you of the Examen. It has five steps.
1. Become aware of God’s presence.
2. Review the day with gratitude.
3. Pay attention to your emotions.
4. Choose one feature of the day and pray from it.
5. Look toward tomorrow.
In other words, the practice of examining our day on our bed emerges in our thinking as a biblical idea and not merely an Ignatian idea. In that light, like sufficient rest, a healthy diet, or regular physical exercise, it is good for our spirit, so that when combined with our physical body, we function as a growing soul.
Secondly, I see so much grace from God as I tap the thinking of saints along the way. Let me explain.
An honest look at one’s day often reveals a range from great moments to trivial pursuits, from stupid decisions to maximized opportunities. Rather than condemn us for our fantasy and forgetfulness, or allow us to swell with pride in moments of great productivity, God invites us to repent and rest, to feel and heal, but only if we are willing to go there.
He shows us through the saints like Peter of Damascus about 400 years before Ignatius, to examine our days and our ways and to make progress, but also to realize we can lose it in a single instant.
We discover, related to generosity anyway, that any opportunities we had to serve as conduits of blessing were simply fresh moments to be the person and play the part that God made you to be and play all along.
If that sounds too lofty, then just do this practice the examen today. And see what happens.