C.S. Lewis: Grief and Fear

My soul is downcast within me; therefore I will remember you from the land of the Jordan, the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar. Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls; all your waves and breakers have swept over me. Psalm 42:6-7

“No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. I am not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid. The same fluttering in the stomach, the same restlessness, the yawning. I keep on swallowing. At other times it feels like being mildly drunk, or concussed. There is a sort of invisible blanket between the world and me. I find it hard to take in what anyone says. Or perhaps, hard to want to take it in. It is so uninteresting. Yet I want the others to be about me.”

C.S. Lewis in A Grief Observed (London: Faber & Faber, 1964) 1. This book contains the reflections of C.S. Lewis after the loss of his wife.

Lewis opens the book by commenting that grief feels like fear. The pain appears to paralyze the suffering person. It hinders his or her ability to comprehend reality, and they don’t want to be alone.

As I think about ‘compassion’ in 2020, I feel that God is leading me to identify with the feelings and situation of those who suffer, so that my generosity can meet and minister to them.

Often you and I might think we know what a hurting person needs but without compassion and tenderness, our efforts may miss or, God forbid, make a bigger mess of their situation.

I arrive in India last today. God is nudging me that I need to listen and do activities to connect with the hearts of people as individuals and groups before offering any advice or instruction. God help me.

When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, He had compassion on them and healed their sick. Matthew 14:14

“Physical evil is only to be regarded as a real evil insofar as it tends to foment sin in our souls. That is why a Christian must seek in every way possible to relieve the sufferings of others, and even take certain necessary steps to alleviate some sufferings of his own: because they are occasions of sin. It is true that we can also have compassion for others merely because suffering is an evil in its own right. This compassion is also good. But it does not really become charity unless it sees Christ in the one suffering and has mercy on him with the mercy of Christ.

Jesus had pity on the multitudes not only because they were sheep without a shepherd, but also simply because they had no bread. Yet, He did not feed them with miraculous loaves and fishes without thought for their place in His Father’s Kingdom. Bodily works of mercy look beyond the flesh and into the spirit, and when they are integrally Christian they not only alleviate suffering but they bring grace: that is, they strike at sin.”

Thomas Merton in No Man is An Island (New York: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 1983) 85.

The brokenness in our our world tends to foster sin and further suffering. To add compassion to our generosity is to bring grace where sin abounds.

This may sound like a heavy idea to start the year, so let’s keep it simple. Christ aimed to alleviate suffering and we get to follow His example.

When we do, we strike a sin and declare victory for the Kingdom of God. Sadly, some places have more suffering than others,. We must go to them.

Today I am flying to India via Washington D.C. and Frankfurt, Germany. I don’t actually arrive until late tomorrow. Why go there?

There is brokenness in ministries that lack governance and accountability structures. I am doing replicable seminars to bring wholeness.

It’s a long trip and I myself am suffering from back pain. But just like God miraculous supplied what Jesus needed, I am confident He will carry me.

What suffering do you see that generous service could help alleviate? Ask God to help you add compassion to your generosity.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4

“Just as the Father is compassionate toward you in a threefold way, so ought you to show compassion towards others in three ways. The Father’s compassion is gracious, spacious, and precious. The Father’s compassion is gracious, that is, grace-filled because it purifies the soul of vice… The Father’s compassion is spacious because with the passage of time it extends itself to good works… The Father’s compassion is precious in the joys of eternal life.”

Anthony of Padua in Sermones as recounted by Rosemary Ellen Guiley in The Quotable Saint (New York: Visionary Living, 2002) 35.

Let us begin 2020 with thankfulness that we serve a God who is the Father of compassion and comfort. As Anthony declared, this compassion is gracious, spacious, and precious.

It comes to each of us as unmerited favor. It does not diminish but grows and blesses all it touches. It brings healing to the deepest pain. It gives people not what they deserve but what they need.

Compassion relates to our generosity because the Father generously extends compassion and comfort to us so that we can share it with others. How will you generously show compassion in 2020?

Anthony Mary Claret was an archbishop. missionary, and confessor of Isabella II of Spain. He took a retreat in 1863 and this was his list of resolutions. It’s a fitting post for ending 2019 as it celebrates my word for the year: kindness.

“In this retreat, I drew up the following resolutions.

1. I will, when praying, remember the reprehension Catherine of Siena received. I will also be mindful of Aloysius, who spent an hour reciting Matins.
2. My particular examen will be on meekness. I will remember on this score the example of Jesus, my Master and Model, who says: “Learn of Me, for I am meek and humble of heart.” … I will consider the usefulness of meekness, because by humility, God is pleased, and by meekness, so is our neighbor. It is better to do less but with patience, meekness, and kindness, than to do more with precipitation, anger, and impatience. When people see a person whoo does things in the latter fashion, they are scandalized and repulsed.
3. I will never get angry, but suffer in silence, and offer to God everything that gives me pain.
4. I will never complain, but resign myself to God’s will, for He arranges everything for my good, even making use of poverty, humiliations, and contempt of others for this end.
5. I will be kind to everybody, particularly too those whom I find troublesome.
6. I will never talk of myself, or oof my affairs, either in praise or blame.
7. I will say to my God; “Lord, if Thou willest to use me, a miserable instrument, for the conversion of sinners, behold I am ready to do thy will.”
8. Before eating, I will say, “Lord, I eat to strengthen myself and in order to serve Thee more faithfully, And I do so, not taking pleasure in these worldly things, but purely out of necessity.”
9. In all my actions I will strive for purity and rectitude of intention, great attention, and care, and a constant deliberation of will.
10. I will endeavor with the greatest possible care to do each particular action well, just as if I had nothing else to do.”

I have tried to put into practice all these resolutions with the grace of God.”

Anthony Mary Claret (1807-1870) in The Autobiography of St. Anthoy Mary Claret (Compton: Claretian Major Seminary, 1945) Chapter 9.

Return to the resolutions that stuck out to you. Read those parts again. Ask God for the grace to put them into practice in the new year. Be sure to follow through with generosity, meekness, and kindness.

What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Mark 8:36

“The ugliness and beauty of this world are like bitterness and sweetness. The ugliness of the world—which is its contempt and its adversity—is a profitable sort of bitterness that heals the just. The world’s beauty is its prosperity, and this is a flattering sort of sweetness, but false and seductive… Therefore, in order to escape the ugliness of hell, and to acquire the sweetness of heaven, it is necessary to go after the world’s ugliness rather than its beauty. For even though all things were well created and are all very good, nevertheless one must beware especially of those things which can furnish an occasion for the loss of the souls of those who use gifts irrationally.”

Birgitta of Sweden (c. 1303-1373) in Fifth Book of Questions, Seventh Interrogation 7-10 in Birgitta of Sweden: Life and Selected Revelations (Mahwah: Paulist, 1990) 110.

In a recent conversation with Patrick Johnson of Generous Church, we were talking about how most American’s value comfort over commitment to Christ. That’s what Birgitta was talking about some seven centuries earlier.

People pursue beauty and things and all the world offers over the hard and challenging path of obedience to Jesus. As we prepare for a new year, what will you chase after? With Birgitta, I say aim at the world’s ugliness.

Do this and you will have no regrets for eternity. But those who irrationally aim for all that the world offers will end up empty now and later. It might taste sweet at first but it won’t be lasting. Beware. Be sure to get this right.

Generosity flows not from prosperity but proper perspective. Remember, Jesus celebrated the giving of the widow with two cents. The way of Jesus is to move toward brokenness to find healing. That’s what I am learning.

Fear the Lord, you his holy people, for those who fear him lack nothing. The lions may grow weak and hungry, but those who seek the Lord lack no good thing. Psalm 34:9-10

“Poor worldlings! They labor and toil to acquire an increase of wealth and property, but never enjoy repose: the more they accumulate riches, the greater their disquietude and vexation… The rich of this world are, of all men, the most miserable; because, the more they possess the more they desire to possess. They never succeed in attaining all the objects of their wishes, and therefore they are far poorer than men who have but a competency, and seek God alone. These are truly rich, because they are content with their condition, and find God in every good.”

Alphonsus Liguori (1696-1787) in Sermon XIII “On the unhappy life of sinners, and on the happy life of those who love God,” part 3, in Sermons: For all the Sundays in the Year (London: Aeterna Press, 2015).

I am hearing troubling advice from so-called Christian financial advisors. They are saying that the answer to the desire to accumulate is to come up with a “financial finish line.” They basically defined that as setting a goal for income and wealth accumulation. They suggest that people need to answer the question, “How much is enough?” in financial terms.

What would Jesus say in response? Here’s what He said to the person who set a “financial finish line” in Scripture. “But God said to him, ‘You fool! This very night your life will be demanded from you. Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?’ “This is how it will be with whoever stores up things for themselves but is not rich toward God.” Luke 12:20-21

What’s the flaw in “financial finish line” thinking? There are many. Ligouri notes a few. They “never enjoy repose” or rest. They take on greater “disquietude and vexation” which means they fill life with restlessness and frustration. Worst of all, they “never succeed in attaining all the objects of their wishes.” They would do well to read Psalm 49 to gain perspective.

Anyone who answers the question, “How much is enough?” and links it to money is afflicted with the love of money (1 Timothy 6:10). There is only one correct answer to the “How much is enough?” question. The answer is “God! God is enough!” If you think you need to accumulate any sum of money, you are “the rich fool” and a “poor worldling” to be pitied.

Do yourself a favor. Abandon the financial finish line thinking and choose instead to fear the Lord. To the person who accumulated riches, Jesus pointedly said, “Go, sell and give, then come and follow” (Mark 10:21). You won’t figure it out until you live it out, that letting go of money opens your hands to take hold of the only thing, the only One, that is enough: God!

Here’s my alternative biblical advice which works for everyone on earth. Store up accumulated wealth in heaven right now in obedience to Jesus. Work productively as long as God gives you life. Save money only to pay cash for purchases. Enjoy living on a mina (three month’s income) as a faithful slave of Christ and return any gain to our good Master.

For if ye live after the flesh, ye shall die: but if ye through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body, ye shall live. Romans 8:13

“God hides the prize of eternal glory in our mortifications and in the victory over overselves, which we always strive for with great gentleness.”

Jane Frances de Chantel (1572-1641) in The Quotable Saint by Rosemary Ellen Guiley (New York: Visionary Living, 2002) 181.

The Apostle Paul stated plainly that living for the flesh leads to death and only through mortification by the Spirit do we grasp life.

This way to life is to have victory over ourselves. It’s also a win we must experience in order to grow in generosity and only possible by the Spirit.

But why pursue this victory over ourselves with gentleness? It’s not easy. It takes time and we need to extend grace and kindness to each other.

In plain terms, the person who tends to be hardest on you is yourself. To pursue this victory with gentleness is to season the battle with grace.

The prize for mortification is life. To only only way to get it is to have victory of ourselves. Holy Spirit, help each of us win this battle. Amen.

“If you do not stand firm in your faith, you will not stand at all.” Isaiah 7:9b

“In times of dryness and desolation, we must be patient, and wait with resignation the return of consolation, putting our trust in the goodness of God. We must animate ourselves by the thought that God is always with us, that He only allows the trials for our greater good, and that we have not necessarily lost his grace because we have lost the taste and feeling of it.”

Ignatius of Loyola (1491-1556) in Spiritual Exercises.

Do you “wait with resignation” and trust in the goodness and generosity of God to sustain you? The hard part about waiting for most people is the temptation to take matters into our own hands.

So what is the solution? It’s clear. We must “animate ourselves by the thought that God is always with us.” This truth linked to the Christ of Christmas must carry us throughout the year.

Perhaps take a moment to create a centering prayer to help you wait with resignation? “Lord Jesus, thank you that you are with me and care for me.” You can pray that or write your own.

Whatever the prayer, consider this rhythm as a pathway to animate your faith and to inspire others. Our only hope for living, giving, serving and loving generously is to be sustained by faithful care of our living God.

“How will anyone know that You are pleased with me and with Your people unless You go with us? What else will distinguish me and Your people from all the other people on the face of the earth?” And the Lord said to Moses, “I will do the very thing you have asked, because I am pleased with you and I know you by name.” Then Moses said, “Now show me Your glory.” And the Lord said, “I will cause all My goodness to pass in front of you, and I will proclaim My name, the Lord, in your presence. I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion.” Exodus 33:16-19

“For needful it was that neither His light should be unseen, nor His glory without witness, nor His goodness unenjoyed, nor that any other quality observed in the Divine nature should in any case lie idle, with none to share it or enjoy it. If, therefore, man comes to His birth upon these conditions, namely to be a partaker of the good things in God, necessarily he is framed of such a kind as to be adapted to the participation of such good. For as the eye, by virtue of the bright ray which is by nature wrapped up in it, is in fellowship with the light, and by its innate capacity draws to itself that which is akin to it, so was it needful that a certain affinity with the Divine should be mingled with the nature of man, in order that by means of this correspondence it might aim at that which was native to it.”

Gregory of Nyssa (335-394) in The Great Catechism, Part II, The Incarnation, Chapter 5.

Happy Boxing Day from Denver, Colorado (pictured above) to my friends and readers in Australia, Canada, the UK and other places where the holiday is observed.

Two things grip us when we reflect on today’s Scripture and the thoughts of Gregory on the incarnation. We are partakers of the good things of God and His design for us is our participation in His work.

Moses was boldly leading God’s people and pointedly asked God to show Himself faithful, to show His glory. Only when we pursue God and partake of His goodness and generosity, do we have anything to give to others.

This text contains the word “compassion” in it too. Spoiler alert: That’s the word I have chosen as my word for 2020. May we partake of the goodness, mercy and compassion of God and participate in dispensing it generously.

Father in heaven, make it so by the Holy Spirit today, in 2020, and beyond. Do it so the watching world will see Your glory, know that You are the living God, and see that You are with us! Hear my prayer in the name of Jesus. Amen.

The Word became flesh and made His dwelling among us. We have seen His glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth. John 1:14

“How beautiful, meek, and charitable is Jesus, the incarnate Wisdom! Beautiful from all eternity, He is the splendor of his Father, the unspotted mirror and image of His goodness. He is more beautiful than the sun and brighter than light itself. He is beautiful in time, being formed by the Holy Spirit pure and faultless, fair and immaculate, and during his life He charmed the eyes and hearts of men and is now the glory of the angels. How loving and gentle He is with men, and especially with poor sinners whom He came upon earth to seek out in a visible manner, and whom He still seeks in an invisible manner every day.”

Louis de Montfort (1673-1716) in The love of Eternal Wisdom, 126.

Happy Christmas everyone!

Take a moment today to gaze into the unspotted mirror of Jesus. There you will see the image of His goodness and generosity. It’s “beautiful, meek, and charitable” as Montfort aptly notes.

Let us celebrate that Jesus came to seek us out in a “visible manner” on earth, though we are poor sinners, and continues to pursue us in an “invisible manner” still today.

Let Him catch and charm you to the point that you give all that you are and all that you have to His service. Whatever you keep from Him you will lose, but whatever you give Him you will gain for eternity.

His teachings on money make no sense until we grasp that He wants us to let go of everything else so our hands are free to hold on to Him. He gets that this is hard for us poor sinners.

This Christmas, draw near to our beautiful, meek, and charitable King and He will draw near to you.